Anything Goes : Requests to Connect by Mark Elliot

Requests to Connect

Someone sends me a network request. As a user, my first reaction is "Who are you and why are you reaching out to me?" But... I can't ask that question... (like I can on LinkedIn). I have to accept the request before I can send a message to the person making the request. Since I am a researcher, I accepted a few requests, so I could see what would happen if I asked the question. My sample size is still small, but so far, I haven't had one response yet. I would make two suggestions. If a person requests to connect with you, you should be able to respond. I'd like to be able to personalize my request to connect, like saying why I am reaching out.

Tomasz Mieczkowski

People in your network can easily follow the posts on your wall and in the lounge. I personally follow a lot of users to see their updates, questions, suggestions, etc. Think of it as Twitter, with the exception that you have to connect with another user before they can "Follow" you. On Twitter, no such permission is necessary. On another note, if somebody is spamming you with marketing messages, feel free to reach out to me. Violators will be warned, repeat violators will be suspended.

Mark Elliot

My point was this, the cross section of people I'm getting who request to connect seems arbitrary. Add to that the oddness of getting a request to connect, granting the request, and then getting no response when I send a message to that person. I work as an analyst, so now I am interested in what is actually going on. Why would someone request to connect and then not respond to a message?

Tomasz Mieczkowski

Hi Mark - I see 4 people in your network other than Derrick and myself - as an analyst even you must admit that you can't judge a community of over 325,000 members based on 4 people. It's like saying "if a man's walking a dog, on average earth species have 3 legs". :) Most of activity on the website usually happens in our lounges (forums) - you should probably give that a go.

Mark Elliot

I said it was a small sample.

Mark Elliot

I'm not judging the community but I suppose it sounded like that. So allow me to strip it back down my basic observation. Why not let me message a person who requests a connection? How do you choose? Do you just accept every request you get? If you are going to accept every request, why have them at all? If you can't talk to the person first, what basis to you have to make the decision?

Tomasz Mieczkowski

Indeed you did. I've been told many times that a decent amount of creative minds posses introverted tendencies, which may mean that you will not be approached until absolutely necessary, but then again, I can't speak for others. What I tend to do is connect with people who are active in the lounge or those that I meet in Stage 32 meet-ups. You can always check how active someone is by viewing their profile (karma is a good indicator). Those with no posts and 0 karma points may very well be just readers and followers.

Tomasz Mieczkowski

I see your point. There's absolutely nothing wrong with asking others for their intentions. I suppose other members say "no connection is a bad connection", unless it turns out to be bad, in which case you can easily terminate it. I do understand your request - I've placed it on our "ideas board" we will elaborate upon it and make a decision if it would be beneficial to our members.

Mark Elliot

Thanks!

Suzanne Bronson

I do have the same question as Mark. I accept most requests and i have started messaging those people introducing myself trying to see if we get a conversation of some sort going. I received one generic marketing response, and a am having a convo with another, but all others have received zero response. I do think that if someone you don't know is requesting a connection, then messaging you first and introducing yourself and why they want to connect with you is a primo idea. I do not accept friend requests from people I don't know on Facebook, so I guess I have the same concern here. Why are you contacting me if you're a musician in India, etc?

Mark Elliot

Suzanne, thanks for weighing in on this! what I am noticing is that people will interact or respond in the "chat" rooms (I forget what they call them) but not to messages. The requests to connect are odd. If not to converse then why bother? It looks like you earn little gold stars (called karma I think), when you get someone to join or make a connection. I believe looking at someone's karma points is a way to vet a potential connection, like a game. I haven't figured out how you cash them in yet. Tomasz made some interesting points about this but but..... I still think they should re-think how that first connection works.

Douglas Eugene Mayfield

I accept all requests to connect. I presume that someone who wants to connect has seen one or more of my posts and likes at least some of what I wrote. In that context, I reason that there is no harm in connecting freely. Sometimes if I see something of interest in the person's profile, I will send them a message or greeting. Will all the links turn out to work to my advantage? Almost undoubtedly not. But (excuse the double negative), there seems to be no reason not to proceed on the assumption that any given link may turn out to be helpful in some way I can't even now anticipate. So let the connecting begin! :)

Stage 32 Staff - Julie

I have been reading this thread and have enjoyed everyone's opinions. Then, I came across a new post in the Introduce Yourself lounge today...goes to show with your connections that "you never know" Hope this provides some inspiration: http://www.stage32.com/lounge/introduce_yourself/Greetings-from-Istanbul

Patrick

I have 74 network requests "awaiting response" from me but not a single one of these people have even looked at my profile. I don't get it. I guess until I figure out who they are or why I should accept the request, they will remain in the queue.

Amanda Toney

With any social network that exists, you're going to have random people ask to connect (heck people still do that on Facebook and I'm getting more often on Linked in). It's really about who you choose to accept and reach out to. Unfortunately there's no way to stop the "connect crazy" people, and for some people that is really is how they successfully network. My advice is, it's YOUR network, so you can add or decline who you please :)

Patrick

Does a person know when you have "declined" there request? I mean, do they get a big "REJECT" message back or what?

Patrick

Well Oriel, I thought no one would ask. Because on my profile I say (repeatedly and clearly) to follow me on Twitter. I believe Stage32 and Twitter can and does work very well together. For branding, Twitter is best, I've been using it for years and most of my network moves and works through it. However, it is limited and that is where Stage32 comes in. I only ask that they follow me there so they can then be together with my existing network. There are 98 Stage32 requests at the moment. Most do have a Twitter account. They either didn't bother to look/read my Stage32 profile or didn't have any desire to "follow" me on Twitter which is my personal requirement (policy). Call me strange, weird or whatever but I've thought it out and that is how I'm rolling. That being said, I did like what I found with a couple of them and accepted their request here.

Mark Elliot

Cool! Looks like we've got a conversation going here! Let me throw a log on the fire. If the model is LinkedIn, why would Stage32 resist the idea of allowing us to message someone who wants to connect? I have a super hard time suspending disbelief when it is suggested that allowing such a message is a technical hurdle.... or that preventing such a message is somehow to our advantage. It takes me right out of the story. Here is my suggestion for a plot line that is believable. It starts with a question. Who would find the current situation advantageous? The obvious answer is, when the "person" wishing to connect isn't a actually a person. Perhaps someone doing data harvesting. (that would be someone like me at my day job) Absent the ability to ask a simple question and get a response how can we know? Well... we can't. Makes the job pretty easy. No deliberately ambiguous responses to code. And why would Stage32 support this? Well, the obvious answer is... even someone jump starting a social network has to make a living. Or maybe there is a more interesting story line... anybody?

Mark Elliot

BTW, Oriel, thank you. Your reward is.... a connect request!

Mark Elliot

Patrick, you too. If you can find mine in your exponentially growing pile. It's the one with a picture of a proud father and his daughter...

Patrick

Yours is on the top of the list...at the moment, Mark.

Patrick

Okay.

Mark Elliot

Thanks Oriel. You are an illustrator. Aaah. I could use an illustrator. I will send you a message.

Tomasz Mieczkowski

Hi Mark - Good point about the response. We're working on the solution right now and we'll have something shortly. Thanks for keeping up the topic. We're always open to good ideas.

Mark Elliot

Thanks Tomasz. By the way, in my day job as a data scientist, I provide marketing data analysis, data driven marketing strategies and OLAP architecture. I have entertainment industry clients who use me because I am familiar with the unique requirements of that industry. Lots of high budget films are engineered for the markets it can reach. In your job pick list you have a single job selection for marketing. I would suggest expanding that. I am here because this is my market. I could use a title.

Suzanne Bronson

Speaking of which, RB or staff, is there perhaps away to add your twitter to your Stage 32? Can you put a follow me button on your profile?

Mark Elliot

Ada, if you just accept all requests to connect, I don;t see any value in having a connection process. You could get rid of connections and let everybody message everybody. IF the connection is to be meaningful, there should be some communication available to vet the person requesting it. I have discovered that you can "sort of" do this by writing on the requester's wall and seeing if they respond. If I was the Stage32 God, I would put a message button with the other option buttons that accompany the list of people requesting to connect. Then we could find something else to complain about. Like the job titles available on the profile Job drop down list. (hint, hint)

Doug Nelson

I have a general policy on requests. If you’re more than 100 miles from me – I don’t really want you in my network. That’s because I want the folk in my network to actually be available as cast or crew on set. Read my profile!

Alexander Q²
  1. People don't have to accept. 2. creativity is being an artist with a blank canvas, with several brushes, endless supplies of different paints to create your idea and world. I am a huge fan of stage 32 and it is one of the greatest ideas ever, because it gives me the canvas to help me create those worlds.... life can be complicated enough by itself, so if people want to connect and share ideas, to get projects done now or in the future then connect, and communicate. Just like in any relationship, communication, understanding, sharing, listening and respect are elements to be an effective team.

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