Your Stage : Any Thoughts On This Poster I'm Using To Help Attract Crew, Cast & Investors Along with Trailer? by Valerie Michele Oliver

Sorry, this seems disjointed and unclear to me—a floating image of a single eye on worn paper(?) and the title "Thorn Trees." Huh? I guess paper comes from trees. Lol! But the 'all-knowing, watchful eye' is rather cliched. Without further context, a logline, synopsis, trailer, etc, it's hard to say. I assume this is a thriller? Perhaps share more information in your post. ;) And, my apologies again, but I really don't care for the tagline, especially structured as a question. It communicates nothing. Who is "them?" Nor does it set an emotional tone. The use of ellipses isn't necessary, nor does its use make any sense. Taglines as statements are stronger. For example: ALIEN "In space no one can hear you scream." Anyway, I suggest experimenting with different imagery. Maybe a twisted tree? Maybe a tree that has "eyes" for leaves? Maybe use an image frame from the trailer? I dunno... Again, no context, so I have no idea. But definitely keep working on the tagline. I do hope that helps, Valerie. Best to you, and good luck with your project! :)

Hrm, less might be more. "How do you destroy the will of a murderer?" I think sometimes when it comes to design, we tend to put a few too many things at once. I think the yellowish shadows around the taglines and credits is a little much. Also, consider cleaning up some of the textures. There are so many that the focal point is a bit.. well, unfocused. I think you want the most detail on the eye and Thorn Trees, so maybe consider using that as a plan of attack.

Beth Fox Heisinger and Kay Tuxford -- Thank you both so very much for taking the time to review the poster for THORN TREES. I made a few revisions that I hope helps to give more clarity about the story. Beth, I love your comment about paper being made of trees, and it does fit. LOL! However, paper is important because names are written on parchment and kept hidden in secret. Trees are important because: 1) Many witches were HUNG FROM TREES, as well as burned on wooden stakes, and 2) in our story, trees also represent family lineage/ANCESTRY. I choose Blackmoor typeface because the letter T looks like a creepy tree to me. Ellipses are removed. Thanks. Kay: Yes, I understand your points about info and visual hierarchy, and I've added another image and more text! Title is the focal point, then the eye, then image below that with "1590 A.D." to set the time period, then back up the page to title and tagline. "Blessed Be" is the answer to the tagline question, and let's us know our story involves witches. Decided to remove the pesky credits. That info is in the treatment and other documents anyway. I was an editor and art director for over 15 years, and am taking a few liberties here. The eye is also quite significant in the series: the clairvoyance "seeing" power of the main female protagonist and her daughter, and spies who are always watching for the main protagonist who is in a high position in the Queen's court. I'll stop here because I don't want to give too much away. Your comments, critiques are always welcome!

Beth Fox Heisinger and Kay Tuxford - Thanks for your comments. I have replied.

Dan MaxXx - Thanks for your input, Dan. Tagline is long. Maybe I'm too close to it? Dunno. Getting different opinions from "Excellent" to yours. Going to reach out to a graphic designer I used to have in my class. And so it goes!

Hey, Valerie, sorry, but I would agree with Dan. Now that we have more context—thank you for sharing more, much appreciated!— I would suggest you keep going. You have a jumble of images with no cohesive concept.

From an audience point of view, this poster is confusing and it does not communicate well. I would suggest dropping the single eye. It isn't working. Perhaps use a tree somehow? Twisted. Sharp. Roots that go deep; hint at family lineage in some dark way. Maybe use an old, illustrative, woodcut style on your worn paper look. Use eyes differently (again, as leaves?), if at all. Be unique. Specific. Or use stills from the trailer, show faces of your actors. Create visual context. And again, the "tagline" is not a tagline. It's just some text on the poster. Even with your changes it still is obscure and does not give an emotional tone, nor does it relate to your imagery. It's like some sort of riddle with "Blessed Be?" Huh? It doesn't make sense. A tagline should be a statement. Taglines are terse, pithy. They set an expectation for the film experience.

Perhaps look at other posters for similar films. "The Witch"—Great poster(s)!!!! Great design, layout, very cohesive, very well done. The film's tagline, sometimes it uses two taglines: "A New England Folklore" and "Evil Takes Many Forms." The movie "The Season of the Witch," its tagline sets up a sense of the action of the film: "All Hell Will Break Loose." Maybe your tagline could be something like... I don't know if your witches are good or bad... but: "Evil Runs Deep" or "Hell Hath No Fury." Or maybe some play on words from the time period. ;)

And my opinion does come with some weight... I have much professional experience in this area having been a design director for an agency, an art director, a graphic designer, and working in advertising/marketing for over 15 years. I've been apart of and handled many multi-million dollar campaigns and done brand development. I'm also an artist. I also have a love for symbolism and identity design. So I love this stuff!!! Anyway, again, I hope that helps. ;)

As a producer - I'd say no. The poster doesn't tell me enough about the film that I can define a reasonable marketing/distribution plan. It doesn't tell me what the film's about. I like the title, but that suggests that there ought to be some sort of tree in the graphics - I like the leaves of eyes idea. My suggestion is to make a statement with the tag line - not ask a question. Hope that helps, all the best.

Hey, speaking as someone who's had to make some visual materials, it's freaking hard. Have you checked out Canva.com? I use it with my team to generate material for our pitch books. It's like a free graphic design program for the soooo not a graphic designer. It's got a lot of templates, including posters to build off a visual style that's already working. In 5 minutes, I whipped up a poster for you. In my experience, pitch/investor packs can have so much material, you want to go a tiny bit more minimal to not busy up your page. Nice Hi-def crisp pictures, powerful word choice, something that draws the eye down the page. I'm not a designer, but I've been able to fake it before by abiding by some of those rules. Hope that helps and good luck!

(PS, sorry if my poster is way off, I don't know much about your story. But I think it does convey an ominous feeling... which I got from your initial poster. I wanted to just throw it up here as an example to help).

Beth Fox Heisinger, Kay, Doug Nelson, and Dan MaxXx -- You all ROCK! Thanks for taking your precious time to create a concept for it, Kay. I appreciate all the constructive critiques. Here's the fruit of your input.

Ok. I addressed two issues: 1) you couldn't tell what the story is about from the tagline being used, and 2) the image of the eye had nothing to do with the title and was confusing. Hope this one works better. BTW: The title is in lettering used in books during the Elizabethan Age: Garamond. I changed the tagline to reflect what's happening in the story: there's a conspiracy going on to kill witches, and not for the reasons we have been taught! Comments are welcome.

Here's the link to the featurette trailer filmed in England and Wales: https://www.stage32.com/media/1765099853819423730.

Also, please remember that this flyer is being used for PRE-PRODUCTION purposes only. It is not the official poster that will be used after we've wrapped production. They'll be loads of photos from the shoot to use at that time, and a fresh, new design for marketing and sales purposes. Thanks again for all your help!

Hi Valerie. Oh good, I'm glad all that helped! I do like the new imagery much much better. I like the eye being hidden in the thorny looking tree and branches. Now a cohesive visual tone and concept is forming. But I strongly suggest you go back to the original font for the title "Thorn Trees." For 2 reasons: (1) it is far more interesting in style and mimicks the thorny look of the image, and (2) it is heavier in weight, it's bolder, has more visual strength, which is what you want for a title. ;) In design, Garamond is considered a "basic" font used often in business letters. Lol! So I say go for a more unique style. ;)

And, I'm so sorry, but I'm still struggling with the tagline because with it there's a break down in concept cohesiveness. There are no clear, identifiable, visual references to "witches" in the flyer, only the mention of them in the tagline. And in the tagline it is implied there's something much worse for us to fear than witches. ...Okay? So now I'm pondering what could that mean? But I can only imagine witches because that's the only clear conceptual reference given. If this movie is about something else that should frighten me more, then why should I care about witches?--I'm thinking only in terms of what is on the flyer. And because of the tagline the "eye" now represents this other thing we should fear, not witches. But... From what you said the "eye" symbolizes your witch protagonist who is a clairvoyant, correct? Currently that's not communicating clearly. So knowing the story is about a conspiracy against witches, I can assume that witches are attacked by this other thing or group, and that the witches are the "heroes" of this story and fight back. If so then shouldn't the tagline hint at that struggle, that battle? Just shooting from my hip, just for example, but something like: "Hell Hath No Fury Like A Scorned Witch." That puts me, the audience, more in tune with the witches, whom the story is about. And "hath no fury" and "scorned" tells me something has happened to them and they are fighting back. With that tagline now the "eye" symbolizes "witches" and thus you have concept cohesiveness. Does that make any sense? Lol! Again, it's just an example to further explain my point.

Anyhoo, I do hope that helps! I think you're on a much better track. Great job! Thank you for allowing me to babble on about your project, and for being so open to feedback! Much appreciated. I wish you the best of luck! Go get 'em! :)

One last thought, if you are using Photoshop perhaps consider removing that large branch from the left side of the tree? It looks kind of odd? Plus it has a strange hard edge to it -- I assume that's the edge of the tree image you used for the composite. If it's removed then the 'thorn tree' will look more symmetrical. Or you could altar that branch and hard edge somehow? Minimize it some? See what works best. ;) Again, best of luck! Cheers!

Beth Fox Heisinger - Hey Beth. Hope your day is going well. Glad to hear your feedback that the design in on a much better track! The eye has multiple connections. It's also represents the main protagonist who is secretly controlling what's going on behind the scenes (of the witches, the villages, church, and even Queen Elizabeth herself), and uses "spies as eyes". I do understand your point about cohesiveness, and will put more thought into the tagline. And yes, that branch sticking out can easily be removed in Photoshop. It really doesn't serve any purpose. You've really taken a lot of time to help, and I want to you know that I appreciate it VERY MUCH. If I can help you in any way, just let me know.

You're welcome, Valerie!!! :) To Dan's point and confusion... That is why the tagline is of vital importance: it ties everything together conceptually and sets the tone and expectation.

You have the title, "Thorn Trees"—no direct reference to witches. But now you have an image that literally connects to those two words with "thorns" and a "tree"—that works. You have an "eye" that hints to something supernatural—the visual focal point that the tagline really needs to clarify—but again, the "eye" is no direct reference to witches either. And then that confusing tagline...? There are witches? Huh? But according to the tagline, that's NOT what we should be scared of? So just what is this story about? Not witches? This other scary thing? Your viewer becomes lost.

To further point out the importance of the tagline... In Kay's slicker, modern version with the black and white photograph of a forest and fog—no eye, no mention of witches, nothing supernatural—just the line, "How can you stop the will of a murderer?," this poster design implies that "Thorns Trees" is a crime drama/thriller. Perhaps a story about a serial killer. See?

Valerie, perhaps go back to your logline, your premise. You seem stuck on what these things mean to you, and your personal taste, which isn't translating well to your audience who is looking at this for the first time with no knowledge of the story. Completely cold. You are too close—aren't we all with our own projects! Lol! And you need to be more objective—hard to do, no doubt!. On the flyer, the "eye" needs to represent/symbolize one thing. It cannot symbolize all your desired references—that convolutes the concept on the flyer and confuses your audience. Stick to the main A storyline and your protagonist on the flyer. The point of the flyer is to incite interest—who and what is it about? What is the tone? What is the genre? Allow the other aspects and storylines to come through when reading the script. ;)

Valerie, sorry, it just dawned on me... If this is a flyer, not the poster, then why a tagline? Right? Why not have a very short paragraph or even a logline under the title? What puts so much pressure on the secondary line is that "witch," nor any commonly known witchcraft words or phrases, are not in the title. So whatever comes next has much to communicate and clarify. When you get a chance, look up the movie The Covenant (2006). One of the promotional posters has this longer description of what the film is about, not really a tagline, more like a cliffhanger, mini-synopsis of sorts. I thought it was interesting.... the poster that is, not the film. Lol! ;)

Beth Fox Heisinger and Dan MaxXx - Thanks for your comments. Beth: Interesting idea of adding the logline, or a brief synopsis since I'm using it as a visual to attract producers, crew and investors only. It's like the flyer is sort of a hybrid between a written treatment and a poster. Yeah. Why not try it out? I'll be back! LOL!

Beth Fox Heisinger - Hello. Revised poster after taking a look at "The Covenant" one. As usual, comments are welcome and appreciated.

Hi Valerie. Yeah, gettin' there... but still keep it terse. It's too wordy. It reads rather clunky. It's not concise. Doesn't flow quite yet.... Think like a movie trailer voiceover... LOL! Keep it to the main storyline and create intrigue.

As a flyer... perhaps make this two-sided? On the back could be the synopsis?— a one-pager, if you will? All the contact information, etc.

I also suggest hiring a digital illustrator or graphic designer. Someone who is proficient at image work. The thorn tree and eye look rather muddy, muted, the edges too rough. If done well with high resolution, this could be a graphic you could use later down the road... other print materials, website, etc. Could be worth the investment. ;) And print flyers with a digital print company. High quality print. No color copies!! LOL! :))))

Hey Valerie, to add... I don't feel that I can make any further suggestions because I really do not have full knowledge of your story or the context, having never read the script. Nor do I have full knowledge of your creative intent or your plans for this project... So I can only comment on what I see. I'm glad that we've been helpful, but only you know what's best for you. Please only take what works and discard the rest! I look forward to hearing more about your project, and wish you the best! :)

Beth Fox Heisinger, @Kay, Dan MaxXx, Doug Nelson - A producer represented by Screen Talent Agency in London (http://screen-talent.com/) finds THORN TREES "very interesting", and though on location for a month now, is considering the project. Thanks one final time for your contributions and support! It would be lovely to share, yet another, Stage 32 success story with members here. Take good care, and all the best with your projects and life!

Valerie, I looked at your trailers and it's apparent that you're into spooky (my kinda girl). Your poster points toward spooky okay but how does it point to your story/script. It's got to be a real grabber, but I don't feel that. I get the feeling that you're being to intellectual with it. Maybe lighten up and have a little fun with it - after all, it's just a movie.

That's fantastic, Valerie! Great news! I hope it all works out. ;) Question... so I looked at your trailer for "Wiccan" and wondered if that is "Thorn Trees?" And then pondered... Why the name change?

Doug Nelson - Hey Doug! Thanks for your comment after viewing the trailer. Wish I were still teaching. I'd set this up as a class competition project for senior graphic design students (like I've done in the past for indie directors and producers. Some great design solutions came out of those competitions, and those films were entered into festivals and won awards, and received distribution). If I can find the time, I'll try to work in a similar fashion with a senior class at my undergrad or grad school. That would result in some fresh ideas and approaches. And, I could have Stage 32 members choose the winning poster design. Here's a link to some of the best from the past: https://www.slideshare.net/ValOliver/biz-educproposal.

Beth Fox Heisinger - Hello Beth! Thanks for the well wishes concerning the producer. The original name was THORN TREES. Later, we changed it to WICCAN and made the trailer, thinking the term is easily and instantly recognizable as having to do with witchcraft practitioners. However, after having the trailer reviewed by Wiccans, we were advised that the term wasn't used until the 1960s, and would really turn them off from supporting the series. We want the community to support this project, so we are respecting the feedback.