Screenwriting : 8 minutes on this line. by Deborah Bete

Deborah Bete

8 minutes on this line.

I can’t decide.

“A faint smile touches his face — lingering.”

or

“A faint smile touches his face — and lingers.”

8 minutes on this.

Why.

(But still.)

Curious to hear your thoughts — which one feels right to you, and why?

Maurice Vaughan

It's that way sometimes, Deborah Bete. Spending a lot of time on one line. I like "A faint smile touches his face — and lingers" more. It sounds better in my opinion, and it grabbed my attention more.

Dale Wolfe

Agreed, Maurice. "... and lingers" has more weight IMO. "Lingering" doesn't feel as strong a motive. Like Hitchcock said, "You can write 'A man walks into a room,' but HOW does he walk in?" Sometimes it takes much longer than 8 minutes :)

Aleksandar Lahtov

Yeah, lingers sounds more suitable. It's so direct oriented.

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