Perhaps it is just learning three fold in the last few months really since about June but I've got to fight for my validation I do know what I'm doing. Recently I have posted and taken down a lot on my wall and even in threads sometimes. So I've noticed a reallly good discussion about process of rewrites then I thought I'd post something of my own that was really not that good from six months ago and show how I should have rewrote it before submitting. It's short and won't take long to read. By the way noticing and deciding to post this one paragraph just took me about fifteen minutes and four rewrites for one paragraph, three sentences. I think it is workable the way it is now then again maybe it does have too much actor direction in it. I think it is a good example showing how hard this stuff can be to get right. Hopefully it will help somebody else struggling like I did and sometimes still do. INT- NCIS HEADQUARTER’S- DAYTIME Dinosa is coming into the office carrying a new brisk tea he is deciding to try. He notices Ellie is already at the office and as the morning light from the office window hits her face he decides to make a lighthearted anecdote. INT- NCIS HEADQUARTER’S- DAYTIME DiNosa enters the office carrying a cup labeled Brisk Tea in his left hand and laptop under right arm. DiNosa sees Ellie already sitting at her desk noticing the morning light from the office window is shining upon her face. DiNosa puts his laptop on his desk while slyly looking over at Ellie, takes a sip of his tea then greets Ellie in an onery but lighthearted boyish tone. (Probably better as "then greets Ellie with a lighthearted anectdote".) Takes out actor direction especially since it is for an already known character with known character traits. Anyway hope this might help someone a bit. By the way I could still be wrong in writing it this way. Peace out and hope everyone is doing well with their endeavor's. I guess I shouldn't look at it as embarrassment so much but perhaps being grateful I'm growing and noticing these things. Being humble enough to admit when I'm wrong is a hard change for me too.