Your Stage : Feedback on my script by Joao Antonio Nsita

Hey Joao, For starters, Using The Hollywood Standard. (1) Tittle page: Perfect! (2) Only put the tittle of your script on the title page and possible on the first narrative page, if it is a feature script. (3)The first'narrative'page is called "page 2", NOT PAGE ONE. (4) Leave the special page number for the screenplays that go into production. (5) Cut the 'character profiles', normally they are not even used in production screenplays. So the second page of your 'SHORT' starts with your 'slugline' INT.PAUL"S... (your what other name you want to give it). (6) You have to describe the Hughes, not their character (maybe you can say the X type), but how they look. 'Show', not tell. (7) Parenthetical character direction a)Never capitalize the first letter of parenthetical character direction. (Check all) b)What is in Parentheticals and what is not. "(On the phone, as she fends off rob, she pokes him in the eye)" --Never describe 'action' in parenthetical, but in an proper action line. "As she fends of Rob - pokes him in the eye: BETH Listen were having ... A bonus is that you don't have to cut of the end of your page in an unpro, way now. (8) Check ALL the names you did not start with a CAP. (9) CUT "TITLES: COUSINS" Don't need this in a spec. Again, It is for the production phase. (10) I you are talking "" END OF EPISODE", you're writing a series, not a feature and you should use DIFFERENT FORMAT. I know the format for series looks like s.... but I can't help it. (11) Grammar: a)Now I 'm becoming a bit of a dick, but I did not invent this "Ah"is enough instead of Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" Ok I know, I exaggerated. b) "The movie comes to a end"becomes "The movie comes to "an" end" c) "likened terminator genisys" " "likened"should that not be "liked"" and "Terminator Genisys" d) And ""an" AK40" Check all of your spelling and sentence construction again!!! With kind regards, Rutger Oosterhoff

I'm not sure what the dif is between "Multi-cam forma'" and TV SERIES format. In "Multi-cam format'" all action line should be in CAPS and you probably can end with "END OF EPISODE", but I'm not sure. https://screencraft.org/2016/01/05/the-screenwriters-guide-to-formatting... For a sitcom, and action lines are NOT in caps. They say it can change per sitcom. This is confusing.

rutger thank you so much for taking the time to read my scripts i know it's saturday and your busy. i'll work on my action lines but to be honest there my weakest link. i somehow can't just write them it gets very frustrating. i will definitely look at the screen craft formatting link you've given me and hope to improve as a writer. again thanks if you have any more views please feel free to write it to me

Ok, no problem!