Anything Goes : Is this too weird? by Zorrawa Emily Ann Jefferson

Is this too weird?

So let's say there's a guy and a girl in college, they both go outside because the boyfriend wanted to blow bubbles. And outside all he talks about is bubbles, the history of bubbles, and how bubbles are made. then he starts to compare the bubbles with happiness and freedom and how he feels magical when the bubbles are free. He then starts to weep. What do you think of a moment like this?

Pierre Langenegger

Well I think college aged people wanting to blow bubbles sounds weird in itself.

William Martell

Along with the weirdness of blowing bubbles - I don't understand why he weeps, so I just think he's insane. Your job is to make the reader understand so that the reader (and film viewer) will weep. "I thought drama was when actors cried. But drama is when the audience cries." - Frank Capra

Pierre Langenegger

Yep, as Bill said, there needs to be a reason why he behaves that way. That scene, as a stand alone scene, will pull your story down unless it's explained.

Beth Fox Heisinger

It's hard to comment without context. :)

Mark Deslonde

Hi Emily. Out of context it may seem a little odd but what came before or what follows? If, say, when he was a child he was in his yard blowing bubbles and his mother was in the house being brutally murdered (yes I know... I'm sorry. I didn't get any sleep last night) This scene then might go from a little weird to being a turning point for your character and one of the most emotionally charged moments of your screenplay.

Aray Brown

Why would a 18 year old want to blow bubbles? I agree with everyone else, if there was a deeper meaning behind it, then okay. But young man randomly blowing bubbles, i don't see.

Guillermo Ramon

I have participated in many one minute and ten minute play festivals as a writer or actor in the last 2 years. Very short plays or scripts don't need to be normal, Weird can be very good. The reason is that in very short scripts, you don't have the chance to build action, develop characters, etc. You have a situation and your characters react to it. Their reaction is what makes the play and gives the illusion of a personality. I would say that it is not so important that the bubble guy is obsessed with them. What is important is how she reacts to this. Is this going to be an absurd farce? Are you making a statement? is it relevant to the audience? Are you making fun of your characters? Of the audience? Blow their minds with something unexpected.

Frederic Lecamus

A good reflex, once the script is done, is to remove all the scenes that don't push the plot. You should always ask yourself what happens if you cut it. If it's only character exposition, delete; keep it only if it threatens to break the structure. And weird is fine as long as it's relevant to the story; it needs to push the plot even if only for a specific and/or limited part. If it's only about how sensitive the boy is, any producer will most likely tell you to cut it because it's context to the construction of the plot and can be shown elsewhere...

Patrick M McCormick

Why is he weeping? What are you trying to bring out with this scene? Does it do something to move the story forward... or is unnecessary action?

Robert Parera

I think his female friend to take out a needle and thread and sew his fingers to his chest. {Emily just Kidding}

Robert Parera

Sorry I was laughing to hard forgot the word Should !

Zorrawa Emily Ann Jefferson

Yeah!

Michael Wearing

I saw a lovely. short which was a romance between a walking suitcase and a girl blowing bubbles. I got the message. However weird you are there is always somebody who sees through the weirdness and love will overcome everything. Personally the scene you describe appears dialogue heavy let the bubbles and characters deliver the message you want conveyed with minimum dialogue.

Michael Eddy

You answered your own question. Yes. You lost me before "hello". I would have zero interest in these characters or this scene. If it's the opening scene of your screenplay - you're in deep guano.

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