Screenwriting : Logline help by Herb Ham

Herb Ham

Logline help

I'm too am new to Stage 32. I'm a screenwriter and professor. I'd love to get feedback on a logline for a script I've just finished. Here it is: LOGLINE: (Title), the true story of the men who fought and died in the skies over Nazi Germany... and the women who loved them.

D Marcus

A good log line tells us something about the person the store is about. You don't so that. A young man, to save his skin, hides in the past thanks to the invention of a crazy scientist. He meets his future parents and accidently distracts his mother from noticing and falling in love with his father. So he is forced to bring them together or he will cease to exist. That's a log line. We get a sense of the person whose story we will follow. We get a sense of the challenge. And we get a sense of the stakes. Tell us who the protagonist is. Tell us the challenge this person will face. Tell us what is at stake.

Alex Bloom

... In one or two sentences.

James Chalker

I think it's a bit too general. Were these men Luftwaffe pilots, RAF, U.S.A., Red Army? Bomber pilots, fighter pilots, paratrooper pilots.

Anthony Moore

Too vague. The log line should have five elements: Setting, hero, villain, problem, hook. You have 2 out of 5. My suggestion, go to a video rental website and read the posted loglines. You'll see that most follow this format. Good luck.

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