So, I've been reading a lot of screenwriting books and getting lots of advice, made notes for myself on how to alter one of my screenplays. My worry is that the alterations will kill the depth of the original, replacing it with something more attractive, but ultimately far more shallow. Just so this isn't all abstraction, I'll give some of the plots, name, logline, etc. Screenplay Name: Originally- Beyond the Darkness New Version- The Darkest Art Logline: (Neither of these is finalized or polished, just trying to give a sense) Original- A suicidal mystic must save his friends when their intervention seance plunges them into a dark dimension. New Version- A modern day sorcerer must save his brother's family when a botched seance sends them into a dark dimension. Old Plot: Originally, the focus was on Michael as a suicidal mystic, someone acutely tied to death, being the only hope for his friends after the witch they hired dies in the middle of a ritual designed to bring them into another world, a reverse seance: bringing them to the ghosts, rather than the other way around. Michael himself is moody, cynical, introverted, and a major depressive- the fun of the character is that he's willing to do things most horror movie protags shy away from, employing dark magic in order to save the day. Some comments I've gotten are that he is unlikeable, but it's real to the depression that he be a little anti-social. New Plot: The new version is similar, but rather than a friend pulling an intervention, it's his brother, and the traits are exaggerated: rather than a brooding guy wearing a lot of black, he's a high energy snark machine with a punk perspective, red hair with horns like the devil, larger than life rather than crushed by it, a manic depressive rather than major, meaning he pulls a lot more one liners. While I think this character would be easier for people to digest, it diverts a lot of the original theme: rather than it being a character overcoming both internal and external darkness, it would be much more of a "wahoo, I'm using evil magic!" kind of thing, threatening to move from horror to superhero genre if I'm not careful. I'm torn, because I see value in both movies, and I mightr be able to split the difference, but I'm unsure if there's a correct path for this. Any thoughts or similar experiences?
Screenwriting : Losing the Plot? Marketability vs. Story by Shane M Wheeler
Losing the Plot? Marketability vs. Story
Other topics in Screenwriting:
Check out Trending Discussions
Register / Log In
2 people like this
Didn't read any of that but the question, and the answer is that screenwriting is doing many things at the same time... so being marketable should not detract from depths. You can easily juggle both of those balls.
3 people like this
You wanna write the Dark Knight or Iron Man? Both great movies, but two different approaches. You can have a one liner character or a dark and mysterious one. It's up to you. If your story is good, it will sell. I think your revised logline and title is much better than your old.
That is a very beautiful and simple way to put that Jean-Pierre. Speaking superheroes is definitely a part of my language. Still wouldn't mind other thoughts, but it makes me lean away from the original.
3 people like this
Personally I often need to stop and think about where my motivation for changes it coming from. As an amatuer my confidence is often low and I find myself torn between what I want to write and what I feel I should write in the eyes of others; be it gurus, mentors, peers, or validators. Based on my experience, choosing the latter is dangerous because some like their porridge sweet and some like it salty. So I need to reflect on my gut feel and my desired audience to make sure I write what I'm truly passionate about.
3 people like this
My question is why are you changing the plot? If it's because of your character note, then revisit the character, not the story. Your protag doesn't have to be a clown to be likable (and snark is not necessarily a way to get people to like your character - that can come off as mean and petty). Your protag can be suicidal and likable, he can be anti-social to on-screen characters and still sympathetic to the audience. Just look at how well Dexter did -- the guy was a cruel serial killer, yet the audience watched for eight years because there was a lot there to relate to and to like. You don't need to compromise the story you want to tell to write a story you think people want to see. It sounds like you do need to give the readers someone to root for -- a likable character. Changing the plot isn't necessarily going to fix that problem.
2 people like this
I think the more commercial version also sounds good. Make a list of all the deeper points you feel are lost from the first and then find ways to include them in the second. Fortune cookies - whatever - that's the hard part of writing. The key to good writing is good ideas - if you've got the ideas, there's always somewhere to put them. Good luck!
2 people like this
One of the hardest jobs in screenwriting is learning how to discern our coverage for what's best for the story. I write the story I want to see, and let my brand determine my market. We can't and won't please everybody!
2 people like this
That being said, I feel like once we put the story out there, it's not ours anymore. And it's our responsibility to ready the story for the world.
2 people like this
Thanks everybody, think this gives me the right breadcrumbs to get out of the woods, provided nothing eats them on the way.
1 person likes this
I had trouble picturing the first version of your protagonist, and exactly how he might drive the narrative forward. Your second version made me immediately think of Tyler Durden from Fight Club, and immediately I could imagine all sort of act 2 escapades. Have you considered a buddy movie where you pair the two versions together and they bounce off each other? Another option is to have your first version the protagonist who is a bit of a bland observer, and the second version who plays the role of mentor antagonist. Linda Aronson's 21st Century Screenplay book is s great resource when looking at different models for structure.