I punched up one of my feature scripts earlier this year, Drama / Crime, a California "revenge-on-the-road" story, keeping it around 110 pages, editing / revising and polishing what was a spare, lean 85-page draft, then adding more character description early on, a few more outlandish organic set pieces that really took it in a more fun and flashy tone, all to come up with a good script that is now a bit stylish and less of a fast read than it was.
With that lingering in my mind (and on my desk), I'm digging in to slice and dice an old crime thriller of mine that is higher budget, darker and more violent but has some fascinating resonance in character web and romance.
Just with these two scripts in development, I'm realizing the contrasts between dense writing style and more effervescent, literary style, so I'm taking the earlier script which is longer in a more pared-down style to make it a fast read.
I plan to send both out for coverage and maybe obtain some more feedback about whether readers prefer a lean, fast read (maybe lacking as much feel or detail) versus an immersive read of a more dense script in the same tone, helping me see ultimately which style (or something in between) best conveys the story.
Thanks for reading some rambling thoughts on feature scripts. I'll know more once I get through the latest punch-up! But it's somewhat epic in scope, 134 pages, so while punching up I also need to grind it down! Great to tackle a fresh challenge!
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Good for you, Daniel, and best of luck!
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James Welday thanks! Made good progress on this today, feeling good because a lot of it actually reads better than I remembered, and also I found a sequence in 2nd half of Act II that can get cut down a lot without really changing the story, so a standard length of 110 pages will be within reach; also I realize I can combine quite a few scene headings into master scenes and just continue condensing, makes for an even faster read that hopefully will not be too thin in terms of evoking the settings and locations.
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Nice! One of the great thrills of writing is when you're editing and know you can condense and re-shape a script, like a mound of clay. Writing and film editing have always been my great creative joy's.
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California neo noir, nice Daniel ! I've found writing is really rewriting, a script is never finished, only abandoned or until it's ' original screenplay Oscar worthy ' !
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I try to make the read match the page. If something is fast paced few words. So you eye falls down the page. An explosion is just BOOM and move on.
If it is a slow part of the story. I use more text, slow the read down in detail. Which what would happen visually.
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Craig D Griffiths yes I can see that, I agree it's a strong and confident way to shape the pace of the reader's experience and maintain authority over our pace with an artful eye to remaining concise.
I'm glad you mentioned that, because the dark thriller I'm working on feels so spare and lean on the page that I felt it might be paltry and lacking texture, but it's that sense of momentum that makes it a really different style from the more recent one, and I need to accept that those variations have a rationale behind them! Thank you!
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Sounds like a plan, Daniel Stuelpnagel! Keep up the good work!
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Karen "Kay" Ross thank you so much, and best wishes for a super enjoyable week!
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If it's any help: I read recently that if a script has a lot of action lines of necessary setting and character action- it is best to chunk up those action lines into paragraphs of 1 line to 3 lines (occasionally reaching 4 lines or 5 lines). This has subconsciously become a modern formatting standard- helps with readability and keeping about "one minute per page" pacing.
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Rachel Ochsen agree wholeheartedly with this approach (especially 1 to 3 lines), as my eyes speed through the script faster if the action lines are tightly constructed, and shorter. I've written my last two projects like this and it helped me considerably.
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James Welday Exactly! I start to focus on tightening my action lines around my 3rd - 4th draft. I love the challenge to condense my flowery prose into powerful lines. Helps my writing for the better.
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I love reading mainstream scripts to feel out how the professionals are writing their description. Some of the best write tight, contained works: writing five words where I would have written ten.
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Rachel Ochsen James Welday yes I agree, and I think it's definitely part of the skill set to be able to expand and contract the form like that, it breathes life into the script, enables flexibility in length and page breaks, helps us be concise and choreograph pace and favor the reader with a clear, punchy, cinematic visual experience.
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I'm a firm believer of writing tight. During the opening setup an extra descriptive line may be appropriate. I rewriting a short right now; page 1 has 3 blocks of 4 line action/general lines. As I thumb through the script it looks like all the action blocks are 2 or less lines. I'll let you all look at when I think it's ready. I look forward to the snarky comments.
Dan, your approach is right in line with mine. Clean, sparse and easy to read.