Hey community,
Let's talk about our "babies." Not just the current projects, but THAT script. The one that will always be special. The one that pushed you to your limits, that carries your most authentic voice, and that you are immensely proud of, even if it's (for now) sleeping in a drawer.
The challenge, if you accept it: Tell us about it, and give us its LOGLINE.
· Why is it so unique in your eyes? (The theme, the risk you took, the emotion?)
· What drove you to write it?
· What is its logline? (The famous one or two-sentence pitch!)
To get the ball rolling, here are mine:
For me, it's FALLEN SOUL and FORBIDDEN LOVE. The first for its raw exploration of a quest for freedom at any cost, the second for its blend of tension and forbidden attraction that questions the boundary between good and evil.
· FALLEN SOUL: Kidnapped and turned into a killing machine, a young girl fights to survive against the organization that trained her, ultimately choosing between dying to regain her freedom or destroying them.
· FORBIDDEN LOVE: After saving a wounded robber, a university student discovers he has infiltrated her campus under the identity of a professor to keep her under control. Caught between gang warfare and a forbidden attraction, she finds herself trapped in a dangerous spiral where nothing is as it seems.
Your turn! Share the gems that deserve to shine, if only through their words. I can't wait to discover your passion projects.
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Hey, Debbie Makima. Great idea! Your scripts sound intriguing!
KILL THE MONSTER
Logline: A fiercely independent woman tries to single-handedly kill a hungry humanoid monster each night it visits her house.
A lot of people don’t like to ask for help or accept it. This script is my way of saying, “It’s ok to ask for help and accept help.” Even though the protagonist is a woman, men have a problem asking for help and accepting help too. I do sometimes, so I wrote this script from experience.
And the monster is really unique. She's a mix of vampire and werewolf, and she has different abilities.
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Maurice Vaughan
Thank you so much, Maurice! I really appreciate you sharing this.
Your logline for "KILL THE MONSTER" is fantastic — it's immediately visual and gripping. What I find even more powerful is the theme you're exploring: the struggle to accept help. That's such a universal and deeply human truth, and framing it through a horror-thriller is a brilliant way to make it visceral.
I love that the monster is a unique hybrid, too. It makes the threat feel fresh and unpredictable.
This is exactly the kind of passionate, personal storytelling I was hoping to uncover with this post. Thank you for kicking it off with such a meaningful project!
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You're welcome, Debbie Makima. Thanks. The script takes place in a small North Carolina town, and the monster (Jaci) dresses and talks like a southern woman to blend in. Each fight between the protagonist (Kelsa) and Jaci is different and more dangerous, but Kelsa won't ask for help/accept it.
I like both of your concepts, especially FALLEN SOUL! I picture FALLEN SOUL being like COLOMBIANA meets THE SHADOW STRAYS.
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Maurice Vaughan
Thank you, Maurice, for such a personal share. Your protagonist Kelsa's quest to learn how to accept help when facing a unique monster like Jaci is a remarkably universal theme. It immediately makes one wonder how she will overcome the pride that consumes her.
This echoes the struggle I explored in FALLEN SOUL. Deborah's story is also one of stubborn refusal of vulnerability, but pushed to the extreme: after witnessing the murder of her parents and being kidnapped by their assassins, she is systematically broken by torture. This isn't just simple punishment, but a calculated method to annihilate her identity and forge her into an obedient weapon.
The central question for her then becomes: how do you reclaim your humanity when everything has taught you to be nothing but a machine? Her final choice is less tactical than existential: to find peace in death, or to use the rage they implanted in her to seek vengeance.
Thank you again for this inspiring exchange. Your approach to the inner monster through metaphor reinforces my belief that the best genre stories speak primarily to our human weaknesses.
You're welcome, Debbie Makima. FALLEN SOUL doesn't just sound thrilling. It sounds impactful and moving!
I think your second and third paragraphs would be great in your pitch, especially "The central question for her then becomes: how do you reclaim your humanity when everything has taught you to be nothing but a machine?"
"Your approach to the inner monster through metaphor reinforces my belief that the best genre stories speak primarily to our human weaknesses." I agree. And watching that kind of movie can help audiences overcome their weaknesses.
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Maurice Vaughan
Thank you so much for your incredibly encouraging feedback, Maurice!
It means a lot to me that you picked up on the central question of Fallen Soul – that struggle to reclaim one's humanity. Knowing that this theme resonates is the greatest reward.
You are absolutely right: genre stories that speak to our inner failures have the power to transform us as an audience. That is exactly the ambition I hold for this project.
Thank you also for your advice on the pitch. I will rework those paragraphs to give them even more impact, as you suggest.
Your support means a great deal.
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You're welcome, Debbie Makima. Glad to support you. Thanks for the support as well! I'm looking forward to watching FALLEN SOUL and FORBIDDEN LOVE!
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Maurice Vaughan
Thank you, Maurice! Your support means a lot. I truly hope to see "KILL THE MONSTER" on the big screen one day!
Looking forward to keeping you updated on FALLEN SOUL and FORBIDDEN LOVE.
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You're welcome, Debbie Makima. Thanks! Looking forward to keeping you updated on my script too.
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Maurice Vaughan
Sounds great, Maurice! I'm looking forward to the updates on your script. All the best with "KILL THE MONSTER"!
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Thank you, Debbie Makima, for starting this discussion. Valeria Noir is one of my most personal projects. It started almost as a joke, but grew into a whole universe. I poured a lot into it, maybe because it was the first time I committed to finishing something while many of my other projects remained scattered. Thanks to Valeria, I built my own working template and managed to complete other stories that I believe carry weight and can be heard by people.
In Valeria I combined real experiences, former bosses, friends, acquaintances, and structures. That is why it is so close to my heart.
Logline:
Valeria Noir follows her dream of becoming a private detective, stepping down from her past as a government agent. In corrupt Darr City she becomes part of a core group forced to take on the old system, each member fighting on different fronts as they struggle not to become the very darkness consuming the city.
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Daniel Danitto
Thank you, Daniel, for this personal and fascinating share. It's incredible how a project that starts almost as "a joke" can transform into such a rich universe and become a cornerstone of your creative process.
Your journey with Valeria Noir is truly inspiring. The fact that this project allowed you to build your own working model and complete other stories is a powerful testament to its importance.
I really like the concept of Darr, this corrupt city where each character must fight to avoid becoming the very evil they're battling. It's a strong metaphor and an exciting narrative playground.
Thanks again for sharing the essence of Valeria. This is exactly the kind of passion and depth that makes projects unforgettable. Wishing you all the best in exploring this universe further!
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Debbie Makima Here is a concept poster for Valeria Noir. I used AI tools to quickly visualize the world and character. It helps me test how the tone and mood resonate before investing in full artwork or production.
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Daniel Danitto
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Logline for Creatures of Habit:
“When ancient blades forged by gods resurface across the war-torn world of Aethoria, a young warrior prince must unite fractured clans, survive betrayal, and master impossible trials to prevent an immortal enemy from enslaving all existence—only to discover that the greatest battle is against the fate written in his own bloodline.”
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Nabeel Khan
Thank you for sharing the logline for Creatures of Habit, Nabil! It's immediately gripping.
I particularly love how the stakes evolve: it starts with an epic quest (uniting clans, retrieving the blades) and culminates in a much deeper personal conflict – "the battle against the destiny inscribed in his own bloodline." That promises a story that is both spectacularly epic and deeply intimate.
The notion of "family destiny" is always powerful. Is it a literal curse, a bloodline heritage, or something more metaphorical tied to his ancestors' choices?
Really intrigued by what this project represents for you. All the best with its development!
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Daniel Danitto
Great initiative, Daniel! The result is truly immersive—you can immediately feel the world of Valeria Noir. Congratulations on such an evocative visual!
I find your method really interesting because I use a similar approach: I illustrate the universe of my scripts very early on, and sometimes I even write songs that I bring to life with AI. These intermediate creations help ground the story in reality and give me extra motivation to see the project through to the end. It’s real creative fuel!
Congrats again on what looks like an exciting project
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Thank you so much, Debbie Makima ! Wishing you lots of success with all your creative endeavors.
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Debbie, I'd like to nominate two scripts of mine: "Pixie Dust" and "Intervention!"
In "Pixie Dust," two modern-day University of Minnesota-Twin Cities students start their own sorority in order to reach out to other female UMN-Twin Cities students tired of being marginalized.
That one came about after I did some thinking about the headlines Harvey Weinstein made with his sexual abuse...not long after a certain former reality-TV host began his first term in America's White House. At the same time, I looked back on my own time as a college student (most of the 1970s)...and took a hard look at the continuing disrespect and blatant marginalization America's women face (especially as college students).
Way I see it, little has changed since I went after a degree.
"Intervention!" follows four neighboring families in present-day San Diego. They're angry over years of racist slights...so these people entice the perpetrators into a sensitivity-training weekend in hopes of teaching the perps the value of unity.
I've been on the receiving end of every slight the major protagonists in "Intervention!" faced...from a police officer pulling me over for a busted taillight (and then saying: "I coulda shot you") to salespeople talking down to me to harassment from coworkers (and their bosses) to a supermarket sacker questioning my being in a hurry one Thursday afternoon when I was trying to shop at his store (despite my being a longtime customer there).
I first tackled "Intervention!" at a time when I was two months away from retiring from a company that I'd grown to hate because, over the previous two years, company leaders made decisions that didn't put rank-and-file employees in the equation.
To put it all in perspective, I retired from my factory job a year and almost nine months after rioters stormed the Capitol in Washington, DC.
Yep...I'm that topical...and that locked into history.
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Jim Boston
Thank you, Jim, for sharing such powerful and deeply personal stories.
Both “Pixie Dust” and “Intervention!” sound not only timely but necessary. It’s clear they come from a place of lived experience and urgency—the kind of storytelling that can truly resonate and inspire change.
Wishing you the best as you develop these important projects.
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A really good idea! A strong girl fighting evil is always powerful and inspiring
I’m also working on my own series, and projects like this motivate me to keep moving forward
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Debbie, you're very welcome...and here's wishing you plenty of success in your screenwriting-TV writing journey!