Introduce Yourself : This probie needs help by George Pierson

what are you trying to do, raise money to write a book, or raise money to hire someone to write a script? What do you know about submarines? Is your submarine information based on real life experiences, or stories you read somewhere else?

Did any of the Beatles grow up on or actually ride in a yellow submarine?

It would help folk by knowing what you have? One page outline? Treatment? Ten files? The great idea?

What I need to do is hire a professional writer to help me get my story together. For example, the beginning of it involves an attack on a U. N. Diplomatic compound by Middle East insurgents. While American forces are brought in after an emergency message is sent out, a C. I. A. operative working undercover at the base is captured and is accused of spying. Several months later, the C. I. A. operative is rescued, but all is not as it seems. A few years later, having retired from the C. I. A., he is now married and working as a special security agent at D. A. R. P. A., the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency in Virginia. D. A. R. P. A. has been involved in a secret project called “Leviathan: D. S. V. (Deep Submergence Vehicle)”. It is a state of the art submarine for defense and research. However, it is soon discovered that there is a security leak within the project. It was suggested that Al-Qaeda sent agents to the states to spy on possible targets and gain information about the submarine project. When all hell breaks loose because of the attack on Tuesday, September 11, 2001, it is discovered that Liam Dunham had used the attack as a cover to steal information about the new submarine and was planning to sell the information on the black market. He is eventually captured and sent to prison where he begins to plan his escape and revenge. Because of the 9/11 attacks, the United States government offers an unprecedented proposal at an emergency session at the United Nations. The White House suggests a new international program that would be better suited to fight in the global war against terrorism. It is called the “International Multiple Threat Alert Command”. It is a civilian run initiative that will gather intelligence on terrorist activity and international criminal activity. The military arm of the agency will be called the “United Earth Defense Command”. Its job will work with various military and security agencies throughout the world. It will fulfill the role previously filled by the “United Nations Peacekeeping Forces”. The first naval vessel, which will act as its “flagship”, will be the Leviathan: D. S. V. Eleven years later, Liam is prematurely released from a federal prison. He begins to set in motion his plans to go after his wife and others whom he believes betrayed him to the authorities. Liam discovers that the super submarine “Leviathan” has been constructed and that his wife, Samantha, is taking part in the sea trials. He decides that this an opportunity that should not pass, so, after contacting the person who helped him escape, he begins to set into motion plans that could have devastating consequences for all those involved. The question is now, can the I. M. T. A. C., in conjunction with the U. E. D. C. stop Liam Dunham before he causes a serious international incident?

It's cool to have all of those big picture things going on- but the challenge in any story is to make the character(s) interesting, and give them a time line as to what they're going to be doing for ninety minutes. In my amateur opinion, you are going to have to decide where you're going start, and what is going to happen at the very end. Serious international incident? There's one of those every day, nobody really cares unless it affects them immediately. So many questions need to be answered. And some of the circumstances such as 9/11- why is that important? If the wife is going to be such a vital part of it, you are going to have to spend some time getting to know her, and what her connection is to everything- Did they meet on match dot com? You're biting off a lot of subject matter to tell in that short of time. People write whole movies just on prison breaks, submarines, and spies, etc. I'd focus on the character- after 11 years in prison, does he have any money? How's he going to finance all of this? Where is he going to live? what about all these agencies, how are they going to actually fit in to all of it? How does he know all of this stuff when he's been in prison?

Let me explain how all of this came about. It may give everybody a better idea of what is going on from a real world point of view.

So what is the story about? U gave us the "A" story (plot). What is the "B" story (message to audience).

Is there a black market for submarine blueprints? for story telling purposes, it would be more effective if the bad guys capture the Sub, use sub threat against the good guys. Slash the years in prison. The real conflict or drama is your main guy in action, not locked up in prison for years++++ Be prepare to spend 5-7 years on this movie idea project (and that's a fast track). My amatuer opinion based on your story, U r better off writing a novel

I think you could simplify it down to a few basic elements and make a cool script out of it. The more detailed back story of course, the more subtle and powerful the sub text. What most people don't understand is that you have to create a pretty detailed world, just to write a story based on a small slice of it. A novel is a good idea, because it forces you to have to work out all of those kind of details. The things that you would 'cherry pick' out of to make a script. I think that for a movie, a novel is a great place to start. Dan stresses that point often, and I think it's pretty good advice. In terms of logistics and developing enough of a fan base to attract attention from a studio. It might not be as good an idea for a TV series though, which I think need to be a little more 'fluid'. But, there are exceptions to the rule, of course.

Years ago, I had an idea for a story based on a television series that I used to watch, unfortunately, I had no idea how to go about it, and with the way Hollywood works, there would have been no way that I could Have brought the series back. However, someone that I came across suggested that if I were to marry it with something else, I could create something new. However, I had no idea what I could possibly use. However, the answer came to me by way of a character plot line from a television series that I am now watching. Therefore, I started to figure out how to put the two together. The plot line involved the husband of a government employee. According to the plot line, her husband is in prison for a very good reason; he hurts people. How does he hurt people? Well, years ago, he was working undercover for the C. I. A. at a U. N. diplomatic base in the Middle East. However, while he was gathering intelligence for the U. S. he was collecting his own information using his position for his own ends. However, it asks the question as to why. Why would he betray his own country to foreign powers? Unfortunately, during his time in the Middle East, hostile forces attack the base to which he is assigned. He is captured, taken prisoner, and is accused of spying for the U. S. During the attack, a message is sent out to some American military forces, which move in to retake the base, which they do. However, the prisoners were already removed and taken to a secret camp run by insurgents. By way of offering a timetable at this point, here is what is going on in the real world. 1. There was the pro Soviet Nur Muhammad Taraki - July 15, 1917 - Sept. 14, 1979 who formed the Democratic Republic of Afghanistan, which lasted from 1978 to 1987. 2. There was the Soviet - Afghan war from Dec. 24, 1979 to Feb. 15, 1989 3. Al-Qaeda - 1988 to present. 4. Osama bin Mohammed bin Awad bin Laden - March 10, 1957 - May 2, 2011. The job of the C. I. A. agent mentioned earlier was to monitor what was going on with these people and their organizations. So, why was the C. I. A. agent now in prison? After returning to the states, it was eventually discovered that he was stealing government secrets and that he managed to obtain information about a top secret submarine called “Leviathan: D. S. V.” Now, what did this person do to the woman that scared her so much that she had to cover her tracks to prevent her ex-husband from finding her and their son? . He was eventually found, arrested, and federally charged. His wife, originally unwilling to believe that her husband could do such things, tried to find out if what she was told was true; she managed to find him in order to find out what was going on, but government agents followed her. He accuses her of betraying him and attacks her. A firefight starts between him and the federal agents. He is eventually taken into custody; but threatens to harm his wife and son. Not knowing what to do, they go into witness protection. However, in May of 2012, the husband was released from prison because of the interference from a domestic terrorist. I believe that we can safely assume that they made some sort of deal. However, while a government agent killed the aforementioned domestic terrorist, the man he let out of prison is still wandering about. I suggest that the “domestic terrorist” provided him with some means of support, which would allow him to survive in the world. Therefore, using the means that he has at his disposal, he starts looking for his ex-wife to seek revenge on having him sent to prison so many years ago. At any rate, I decided that at this time, the “wife” has been sent to work undercover as a Psychologist on board the “Leviathan” to observe how the military crew and civilian staff work together on board the new submarine. The submarine is the flagship of a new international organization called the “International Multiple Threat Alert Command”, which is a civilian agency. The military arm is called the “United Earth Defense Command”. Prior the launch of the Leviathan, the former C. I. A. agent has someone plant a virus into the computer systems of the submarine, which would have disastrous consequences for everybody. Fortunately, he becomes sloppy. He kills the person who planted the virus. On top of that, he had already kidnapped his son as extra insurance. When a threatening recording is discovered during computer tests while out to sea on trials, all hell then breaks loose. While trying to determine the origin of the video, a computer virus plays havoc on the submarine’s systems. With communications just barely functioning, a message is sent out to let the U. S. government know what is going on. When an intense manhunt begins to find the person responsible, it is discovered that it is the former C. I. A. agent and that he intends to do whatever it takes to get revenge on those who sent him to prison, and the first person on the list is his ex wife. So, will the U. S. government be able to stop this new terrorist or will it cause an international crisis?

so the movie is like "BLACKHAT" meets "CRIMSON TIDE", with a Eric Snowden (Ollie Stone) conspiracy? cool. write. make it entertaining.

@George - Hi, it seems to me from your posts, you should write the book. (Or two?). All the best with the project.

George. My advice would be to write it as a book first, I think it would help you develop the story as you've got a lot going on, you need to develop the characters as real people so that readers of your story get to know them as though they are real people, you need to give them emotion and depth and personality. It seems to me you could make a series out of it, maybe a trilogy, then, once you've done that, it wouldn't be too difficult to adapt it into a screenplay.

What I had intended to do was to sell it in book stores first while trying to find someone to turn it into a movie. While writing it as a novel is a good idea, I have never written a novel. I would still need someone to help me write it as a novel. As long as I have it on my mind, I had said that the base came under attack by insurgents. Picture if you will our fighter pilots heading towards, and fighting off the insurgents in a similar attack posture to this - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EAt1xJcof1c. I did come across youtube videos showing our fighters flying in a similar way. When the submarine is being prepared for heading out, I also picked this biggie - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jK-NcRmVcw Later on in the story, while the good guys are trying to find the antagonist and rescue his ex-wife and their son, I picked this as some mood music - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TaG9SDxwPBg

So, if there is anybody out there who can help me write this as a novel, and / or as a screenplay, I would greatly appriciate it. I do want to add a few more things. When I was first starting to discuss this project with some people on this site, they suggested that I look at some screenplays to help me get an idea of how they are written. What ended up happening is that I found some screenplays that offered me some inspiration for my story. The screenplays that I have found are basically science fiction, however, I want to make my story as real as possible. Think of it as a documentary, sort of what they did when they made that movie "Zero Dark Thirty". I know what I want, I just need help doing it.

One more thing before I go; I am not doing a science fiction story. If it can't be done, at least theoretically, in the real world, then it is not done in my story.

Hey George I definitely would be interested in helping you develop both from the creative writing standpoint. I don't know nearly enough about military and wartime politics to truly be of much help in that department, but if you have that side covered then we should be able to knock it out! I am currently developing my own stories for both novels and screenplays, but I haven't attached myself to anything exclusively yet.

I also want to add that since a lot of the atmosphere is inspired by the television series, NCIS, it would help if that anybody who helps me has seen it.

Gorge, I'm a literary editor... what you've got to remember is, the first draft of anything is never the end result. So, don't worry about getting it right and perfect straight off. Get your ideas out of your head and on paper as if you're telling a really good friend about this guy you know, write it as if you're talking to someone about it. There will be a lot of edits over the process, but I wouldn't worry about that for now, you've got so much going on in the story, you need to just get it down. You've already told us a great deal about it, so all you have to do is translate that onto pages. As you're writing, put yourself inside the heads of your characters, walk in their shoes, give them quirks and vulnerabilities, strengths, emotions etc. Decide how you want to start the novel, think of a killer first line to begin and take it from there.

I left a message on the "Authoring & Playwriting" page.

I could write the basic plot , a skeleton beat sheet from beginning to end. u will need someone else to fill in facts , flesh out the character's arc. $76K CASH upfront. 1 draft. 1 year to write.

Dan Max, I had decided to write it out as a novel. Now, if you know how to do so, or, if you know someone that can, we can talk about it in more detail. However, as it stands, I need someone who knows how to write novels.

nope, I don't do novels. but I agree 100%, the novel is your best strategy. Think positive long term. U looking at 5 to 7++ years, from today, from book to script to development to silver screen. if the book is a success, u can hire the best screenwriters, u will have leverage because the book is yours. U call the shots.

Mr. Max, you do raise a good point about the novel. Now, that being said, do you know of any authors here that I could send a request to? I have found some that are authors and comedians, which will be of some help. I do want to add some light hearted humor in this.

george- nope. finding the right novelist is like finding the right doggy. it's a long term relationship. a quick glance of what u wanna do and your target audience (ZERO DARK THIRTY), u better ante big$$$$$$$$ for a Journalist, a journalist who wants to write novels. find a wannabe Seymour Hersch (he wrote a non fiction book claiming Osama B Liden 's assassination was faked) or the younger & cheaper version of Mark Boal. Your material is really, really hard. it's beyond Entertainment when u start using real life tragedies like 9/11 as a conspiracy/plot. good luck. I'll look for your book in year 2019.