A man haunted by nightmares and his job as a detective hangs by a thread and now he has another serial killer on his hands.
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Damian. This is a script I wrote with Judy Norton that we are going to produce and she will star in and direct.
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It would be better if the two are related. Most detective stories are about the dynamics of how the detective is drawn in by the killer and the battle over who is above the law. "A detective haunted by the nightmares of a grizzly cold case must hold onto his sanity when the killer returns." Now we see the battle but also understand the stakes sense it's a case that keeps the detective up at night.
As Earth is rapidly dying from a mysterious virus, an unhinged Detective hunts a Serial Killer by any means necessary.
Dan, I would reword the logline. Something like "A man, whose job as a detective hangs by a thread and has another serial killer on his hands, is hunted by nightmares."
Tasha Lewis you've separated all the parts, now the conflict doesn't make sense. Being a detective is everything, it's not a job - take the badge and gun away they would still figure out a way to hunt down the perpetrator. Throwing nightmares at the end doesn't make sense, either. Detectives don't get much sleep.
Logline format: Who, what, rising action/conflict.
I wrote it from a Professor 's standpoint. If you would like to follow your flow "Haunted by nightmares, a detective's job hangs by a thread and at the same time has another serial killer on his hands.
Damian. Yes. Judy played Mary Ellen, the Waltons eldest daughter on that television series..
You're welcome Damian. Acting and writing is still her main thing. Judy and I wrote two screenplays together that we are going to produce. She might direct this one but we could end up getting someone else if she's too busy.
A PTSD suffering Detective's job hangs in the balance as a testing new case brings it's own nightmares. He must face his own demons in order to catch one of the worst serial killers the US has ever seen
Karen Stark too long
... "Twelve Monkeys 2", with Judy Norton, finally hits the cinemas. Is she the serial killer? Can't wait!!
Haunted by nightmares of a similar case, a burned out detective's job hangs in the balance as he races the clock to stop another serial killer. (27)
... Damn Tony, Frank is in the line of fire again- should he hit the gym at his age?!
Tony. That is actually very similar to the screenplay. His wife was murdered by a serial killer. This one only kills on holidays and Valentine's Day is approaching so they are racing the clock.
Rutger. Judy is the co-star in this film. She plays a woman working at the coroner’s office and helps the detective solve the case.
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Could be a cool movie Dan; simply make the logline a bit clearer, so that people like me stop making bad jokes. Cool to have an Actress like Judy Norton from a classic series like "The Waltons". Good fortune to you Dan!
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Haunted by nightmares of his wife's murder by a serial killer, a burned out detective races the clock to stop another killer who strikes on holidays... and Valentines Day is near. (31)
Haunted by nightmares of his wife's murder by a captured serial killer, a burned out detective races the clock to stop The Holiday Killer poised to kill on Valentines Day. (30)
As Valentines Day approaches, a burned out detective haunted by nightmares of his wife's murder by a serial killer races the clock to stop another killer who only strikes on holidays. (31)
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I appreciate all the comments and suggestions. Very helpful so many thanks to all.