THE STAGE 32 LOGLINES
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SINCE THE DEATH OF GOD
By Elias Truitt
A family is torn apart when a giant alien spacecraft lands in San Francisco, forcing them to question who they can trust.
SYNOPSIS:
When a giant alien spacecraft lands in the San Francisco Bay, two brothers have very different ways of dealing with this new found tension in their city. Jacob just got engaged and is trying for a baby, while Brandon has taken his family to stay at a mysterious church outside the city. Meanwhile, the local government scrambles to uncover the real reason for these alien visitors and find out what the federal government is hiding from them.
SINCE THE DEATH OF GOD
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Elias Truitt, your logline presents a strong inciting event and hints at emotional stakes, but it could benefit from more specificity to fully engage the reader. The arrival of a giant alien spacecraft is intriguing, but what makes this family’s story unique? Are they caught in the middle of a government cover-up, is one of them not who they seem, or do they play a key role in the alien event? Adding a clearer sense of conflict, urgency, or a unique twist would elevate the logline and better convey the tone and scale of the story.
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I agree with Ashley. "Forcing them to question who they can trust" is a little vague, and it's hard to piece together how that relates to an alien invasion. Being a little more specific will bring this logline up from a 4 to a 5 star.