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it seems a little vague. who is he is the partner or the rookie. He returns from the dead? I think you have a good start but I think you can do better. Not trying to be rude. if you give me some more details about the story I would not mind giving you some suggestions. I need all the practice i can get at writing these things. It does sound like an interesting story though.
Hey there, Brad. Thanks for the feedback. You're right, I think I will simply add that it is the rookie that returns. Hopefully that small add-in will make a big difference. Thanks again!
thanks for sending me the link for that. it sounds really intriguing. The logline might need a little work. I was recently contacted by Brandi Self, who also offered her services, here on Stage 32, to help me doctor my loglines a bit, so maybe she's worth contacting. Let me know if that helps. Sounds like it would make an entertaining film.