THE STAGE 32 LOGLINES

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GARRISON
By Kelly Krause

GENRE: Sci-fi, Horror
LOGLINE:

To survive in a remote outpost as an alien organism devastates 18th century New France, a Cree woman and a colonial heiress will need to overcome language barriers, racial biases, and gender roles.

Hester Schell

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Hester Schell

Great set-up, like the title. Would it be better if it was The Garrison? Premise feels real, and based on historical records. We know this all happened. Great market for period piece "germ thrillers." (Andromeda Strain, Contagion, Invasion of the Body Snatchers) Contemporary parallels are clear as are potential metaphors.

What is missing - for me - are the main characters. Work them into the logline: who in the colony is most affected? who is your lead? Perhaps tell us who one of the colonist and his/her particular struggle/what they have to overcome, and one native. For example "At a remote out post in colonial 17th century New France, the last surviving colonist and a native fight to stay alive when a deadly organism threatens the survival of the settlement." Or, a lone survivor fights to stay alive at a remote....

Historically, check your century. Colonization was 16th and 17th Centuries. By the 18th Century, England, Spain and France were fighting over who was going to get what. But as you say... this is remote, so 18th could work if it was way up north. Check more history and consider placing in 17th century, (1600s), when the settlements were getting established. "New France" says to me Louisiana (Louisiana Purchase, etc.) or Quebec, Canada, so by 18th century French settlements were all the way up the Mississippi (St. Louis - named for King Louis of France).

Kelly Krause

Thanks, Hester! You make excellent points... I have saved your notes to my project folder, and will put your suggestions into action. This screenplay is on the back burner due to other priorities at this time, but you are absolutely right RE the research that needs to be invested in this story... I'm looking forward to it; it's one of my favorite parts of the job. ; ) I've sent you an invitation, so I hope we can connect and stay in touch. Thanks again for your help!

James Drago

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James Drago

Great advice, Hester Schell Can't add much more!

Kelly Krause

Thanks for the ratings, Hester and James!

Byron Olson

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S.J. Robinson

Agree with Hester on mentioning central protagonist/s in logline and the "conflict" he/she/they face. You mention this one is on the backburner, so will save rating til you come back to it :) Hope it comes together for you!

S.J. Robinson

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S.J. Robinson

Glad u got around to it Kelly! If I would change anything, I would add a descriptive of the two characters to show their conflicting personalities. .. "sheltered" "mild-mannered" "headstrong" "resourceful" "wily" etc

Kelly Krause

Thanks, S.J. Robinson ! : )

Mehdi Javaherian

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Steven Michael

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