THE STAGE 32 LOGLINES

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THE DRESS

THE DRESS
By Bill Brock

GENRE: Thriller / Suspense
LOGLINE:

Haunted by childhood memories of a drunken father, a hotshot film director, struggling with substance abuse, must conquer his demons to fulfill the mystical dream of a starlet who died in his mansion 62 years earlier.

Nate Rymer

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Maurice Vaughan

I really like the logline, Bill Brock, but I suggest removing "must" (because "must" makes it sound like the main character is forced to conquer his demons, and "must" doesn't sound active).

Here's a logline suggestion: "Haunted by childhood memories of a drunken father, an alcoholic film director tries to conquer his demons so he can fulfill the mysterious dream of a starlet who died in his mansion 62 years earlier."

OR: "After ______ (the inciting incident/the event that sets the plot in motion), an alcoholic film director tries to conquer his demons so he can fulfill the mysterious dream of a starlet who died in his mansion 62 years earlier."

You could also change "62 years earlier" to "62 years ago."

Tasha Lewis 2

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Bill Brock

Thanks, Everyone, for liking my little ghost story.

Nathaniel Baker

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Robin Gregory

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Michael Dzurak

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Vanessa Chattman 2

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Maurice Vaughan

You're welcome, Bill Brock.

Jim Boston

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