I've reposted this new rewrite, will write a longer synopsis once I get through revising the beat sheet with changes to Act I, new sequences and a

switch of protagonist requiring a fresh look at this edgy California revenge-on-the-road story, plenty of time getting this one wrestled to the ground, finally I'm very inspired that it's fulfilling a cinematic destiny on the page.

I appreciate the positive ratings! Through such a journey in the tenth rewrite since first draft in 2010, this change of protagonist obviously put the logline finally in a more direct and dramatic focus than what it was before. A major leap for this story, that needed to be done, but only through the journey was I able to bring out that possibility and come around to actually execute it.

Every once in a while, we discover a script concept and project that almost seems to write itself. This was so NOT that script! This one was I would say a serious struggle all the way through.

Perhaps because I originally wrote it without really knowing what I was doing, since then I approach development of concepts in a more considered way, but who's to say the adventure wasn't worth it, just goes to show we can stumble our way into a mountain of work and possibly still get through it and create excellent results, it's just more arduous that way, or we can be more strategic and diligent in outlining thus making the writing easier and the results more solid sooner in the process.

Anyway, a wonderful learning experience, and I think it shows in the story, I'm glad to have this one locked (at least for the time being haha!). Cheers!!

One pivotal screenwriting need is "Give the story to the main character."

It's easy to get diverted, especially if you love subplots, and sometimes as good supporting characters emerge in their power on the page, unfortunately that fascination and necessity can detract from the protagonist's level of influence.

I did not make the decision lightly to switch protagonists from Miguel to Alicia, it took two years of rewrites and punch-ups and polishes to decide that it wasn't working and shift that focus, but I think and hope that what might have felt like a last-ditch effort on my part to "save the script" has ended up creating a powerful corrective adjustment to where the enormous amount of rewriting necessary to put her in the spotlight (even as Miguel and his story still occupy plenty of space in the story), has created a more crisp through-line.

Even if this script ultimately does not succeed on some levels, perhaps I've found my way into the mind and life of a main character, Dr. Alicia the genius rookie shrink, who might cajole me into putting her in the spotlight for another project!

In Chris Lockhart's The Inside Pitch facebook group I had gotten feedback on the logline and some psychotic fruitcake insisted there was "no such thing" as a genius rookie shrink. I reminded them that it's fiction, and another person commented with a reference to Doogie Howser. Overall I felt vindicated, especially when Christopher intervened and blocked the protesting party for being a confrontational moron.

Thanks for reading and best wishes for great adventures in fiction and in life !!

Clarence Sharpe thank you for the rating !!

ask your self this... did you mean to write to 100 pages? I think this could be 90 pages.