There were many years when I dreamed.
It wasn't that I was happy, or sad, or depressed, or angry, or unfulfilled, or terrified.
I was all of those and more, but I could never really feel them to the degree that I wanted and move that energy out of my body.
What I dreamed of was being able to feel deeply enough so that I could then go after the deepest dream of all.
I wanted to be an actor.
But I existed in various stages of numbness, and my gift, or curse, was that I was horribly aware. I knew it had nothing to do with the world, it had been done to me at birth.
And I would rage, rage, rage against myself. So, over the course of decades, I unthawed and embraced all my pain. My gratitude to the Universe for being given the ability to choose is endless. I couldn't know that that process would become a way of life.
The life I am completely in love with.
Stage 32 has been an excellent resource to me and I am am grateful to Richard Botto for creating this amazing site.