Hi!
I'm really trying to wrap my cobwebby brain around this important concept of the "designing principle" Truby explains in "The Anatomy of Story". At least, it sure does seem important and does indeed seem like an important adjunct to the premise. The two seem to go together quite tightly and necessarily for the sake of a story which will go beyond simply the surface and the generic.
Let me share with you the following, and please respond with your thoughts regarding whether or not you think I have any sort of grasp of the "designing principle":
The following are for my completed feature-length screenplay The Juggler's Act (which I welcome and encourage you to read — it's here on my Stage 32 dashboard, for you to enjoy):
Premise/Logline: An unexpected chance to honor his dreams threatens to destroy forever the acceptance an outed gay teenager has battled to regain from his grandfather, the family’s rigid patriarch.
Designing Principle: Force a gay 16-year-old to accept the help of his friends, to tolerate the recalcitrance of his rigid grandfather, and to honor his dream to become a singer and dancer, all toward the goal that he can be at peace in his own skin.
I sure do look forward to a meaty discussion on the above. Thanks in advance, Kerry
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Your logline has a cold logic to it that doesn’t seem to match the emotional dynamism your story wants to accomplish. We don’t even know who the main character is until more than half-way through. Think about it as selling your protagonist rather than selling your plot.
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You're one of the few in these forums to even mention the premise, logline and designing principal. Congratulations; you get the cigar. first off - identify the theme (why write this particular story).. Then lay out the basic premise as an aid in designing the story rhythm and flow. You 'll need an imperfect character driven by a moral dilemma forced to wend his/her way through a web of other characters. Once you get that pretty well laid out - go write the ending. Now start composing your logline - it will morph as you flesh out the story.
Having said that; your logline that you posted falls flat. Your logline is a marketing tool for use after you've written the story. All the best with it.
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I don't know about Truby's thingy; and I'm not losing sleep over it tonight. On a one or two page written pitch, you need a compelling logline and synopsis. Your current logline sounds clunky. I'd combine elements your logline and DP to get something kinda like this:
A gay teen, risks destroying an already fragile relationship with his headstrong grandfather when he decides his own serenity can only be gained pursuing his goal of becoming a singer and dancer. Or you could save a few words by combining singer and dancer and calling your protagonist an "entertainer".
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OK so the way I understand it yes, Truby's Principle is basically the log line ,however a little more abstract. It's designed to encompass the premise of the story, rather than simply the plot. Whilst a log line tells us about the direct plot of story (with a little character understanding thrown in ,) Truby's principle adds a principle into the mix. It can make it look ambiguous and as we are all into log lines the initial response is that's not a successful one. It's not meant to be a log line though. My opinion is stick to the formula set out for them and use the summary to discuss principles. Principles being the underlaying aspects of the story. I could be wrong about it but that's what I gather.
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I agree with Karen Stark it can make it look ambiguous and the logline needs much more.
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A simpler logline: Risking his relationship with his grandfather, a gay teen pursues his dream of entertaining the world.
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You can always go to truby.com and see the specific definitions and applications. The purpose of Truby's "Designing Principle" helps to show "how" a writer will carry out the "what" of the premise. You kinda do that in your above sample, but don't really do it in the way that Truby suggests.
Your premise/logline seems a little cloudy to me. The story's is...what? For the young man to achieve his dreams, right? But then the unintended consequences with the grandfather happen, and now the young man has to deal with that, too, which probably becomes the even bigger conflict in the story.
So the young man's original purpose - to achieve his dreams - are what he aspires to do, and then he has to deal with the fallout of that. I'd say something like:
(Who) A young gay man (conflict) must deal with the scorn of his bigoted grandfather after he (what) .....
....After he what? Comes out and tries to achieve his professional dreams?
Okay...I can see how "coming out" can still present that type of response in some bigoted people, and especially an iron-fisted old dude who doesn't like gay people, and who might have negative feelings over his grandson's attempts to be a singer/dancer. And now the grandson has to regain his grandfather's love and respect, and maybe even change his bigoted ways in the process. And maybe we even end up liking him after his transformation, too. Nice.
If that's the case, then I'd spell it out that way in my premise/logline.
A young gay man must try to regain the love and respect of his bigoted grandfather after he decides to come out and pursue his dreams as a singer/dancer.
That is the essence of your story, and the bigger conflict as the story plays out, right? I'd watch that - as long as it continued to hold my interest, of course.
Best fortunes in your creative endeavors, William! And here is the link to Truby's beliefs on the elements you've brought up:
http://www.truby.com/software/bb6_manual.pdf
Can you describe how your protagonist’s sexual orientation relates to his creative pursuits? Does being gay make him a better performer, or is his performance an expression of his sexuality? They seem to exist independently of each other and need to have some connection for the story to come alive.