Hello, "Fancy Writin' Hollywood People." Currently working on a scene that finds two characters having to whisper to one another backstage, directly behind a movie theater screen as the film plays to an audience. It's the first time I've ever written a scene that involves a good amount of whispering. I just don't want three full pages of this:
LISA
(whispers)
Do you.... Do you know where Ellis and Harry are?
TREY
(whispers)
You want the short answer?
LISA
(whispers)
Yes.
TREY
(whispers)
They're both dead.
Question: What's a good way to introduce to the reader that the characters will be whispering throughout the scene thus avoiding ALL of these: (whispers)?
Would this work? --
Recognizing their immediate surroundings, Trey and Lisa are forced to whisper backstage.
Please advise.
Thank you for helping some dude put the finishing touches on his latest work.
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Yeah, that works, Bill Brock (''Recognizing their immediate surroundings, Trey and Lisa are forced to whisper backstage"). It saves a lot of space.
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That works! A simple sentence does the job.
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Use "sotto" or "sotto voce"...grow writing vocabulary with terms easily understandable to filmmakers, not the general public...that's one point of mastering the craft...
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Maurice Vaughan Thanks, Maurice! Agreed! Can't wait to delete all those pesky paranthesessssssssss!
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Jacqueline Maddison Thanks, Jacks! Yep. Keep is simple. : )
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Kiril Maksimoski Thanks, Kiril. Yes, agreed. I've used "sotto voce" in past scripts. It looks so cool on the page! I DO question whether or not some judges and / or reading assistants would understand it. One can always hope.
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You're welcome, Bill Brock.
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The most important thing is that your intention is clear to the reader and doesn't disrupt the flow of the read.