OK, so I have a question and this time I can't find the answer in the Bible.
My protagonist narrates the story. I have several scenes where the on-screen character and the V.O. are in sequence. Now FD marks it as a format error if I go
FREDDY
(into phone)
Hello, I'd like a taxi, please.
FREDDY (V.O.)
I'd always wanted to travel Europe. So I figured I might as well do it while I had the chance.
The format error is of course that the same character doesn't speak in sequence, but is my format technically the correct way or is there another way to do this?
As I said, I can't find it in Trottier...
Any help is warmly appreciated, thank you!
Oh no, now I have one that's even worse!
The protagonist writes something and we hear what she writes as a V.O. and then her present self comments on her action, also of course as a V.O.
How do I deal with this?
Should I just create the character FREDDY NARRATOR to distinguish?
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Trottier absolutely explains V.O. in The Screenwriter's Bible, pages 213-215, 217-218. Not sure where those pages land in the e-book, however. Lol! :) My guess... perhaps it would be better to break those apart with action—talking into the phone and the V.O.
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Lukas, that second question (reading to herself and narrating) would be handled in that character's dialogue. No need to label her two different ways—confusing! Perhaps look at a script that uses V.O. extensively, like DEXTER.
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Looking back at your original post, you could just flip it.
FREDDY (V.O.)
I'd always wanted to travel Europe. So I figured I might as well do it while I had the chance.
Freddy stares out the window, phone to her ear.
FREDDY
(into phone)
Hello, I'd like a taxi, please.
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I'll just throw this out there as a cautionary warning... Don't be passive! Characters should be active. And internal dialogue is tricky—the mantra for screenwriting is "show, don't tell." But... I have no idea of your context, intent, or story, of course. Again, I suggest finding good examples. See how pros handle such devices and contrivances on the page. Something similar to what you are trying to create. ;)
Beth Fox Heisinger Thanks so much for the detailed advice. Could you just give me a phrase (three or four consecutive words) from the pages you're referring to so I can search it with the search function?
You're awesome, thanks so much!
I have solved the second problem by adding inane action, which is rather dissatisfying...
You're welcome! Ummm, let's see... from the book... "OFF SCREEN (O.S.) AND VOICE OVER (V.O.)." Personally, I prefer hardcover or paperback over e-books, certainly for reference. It's so much easier to flip through pages, IMHO. ;)
Beth Fox Heisinger That is true. I did it because I saved 5 EUR and, most importantly, the delivery to Germany would have been 1 week or more. This way I got it instantly. I now regret it since the formatting of the script parts is off (Amazon Kindle doesn't offer Courier as a font).
I actually skimmed that chapter and couldn't really find a solution to the same character alternating between on screen and O.V....
OK, how do I report off-topic SPAM? Marc Levy Don't. Ever. Contact me again! I don't know how you dare such a thing, but I shall never work with your company as a result.
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Lukas, I'm a Lounge moderator. He's gone. ;)
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Lukas. VOICE OVER (V.O.) means voice over film which means they will add the voice to the film after the scene has been shot.
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Yup. And (O.S.) is Off Screen, not on screen. It indicates that a character is in the scene and the scene's location, but she/he is not seen in the camera frame when speaking. ;) Voices being heard, say, through narration or through a phone or in a character's mind, then Voice Over (V.O.) is used. ;)
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Yeah, sorry about the e-book, Lukas. Perhaps put the paperback on your birthday wish list. Lol! ;) I've aquired quite the screenwriting library through gifts, Amazon gift cards, etc.
So basically I can put both in one dialogue as both are V.O., despite the semantic discrepancy between the two sentences? Is that what we are concluding?
And thanks regarding the spam...
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What is both, again? Reading in her head and her internal thoughts? So, maybe...
Freddy grabs some notepaper, scribbles...
FREDDY (V.O.)
"Dear Bob. I am so sorry. I can be such a..."
She crumples it up.
FREDDY (V.O.)
Bitch. Idiot. Arsehole. Take your pick.
Keep in mind, when a character is reading something, it is put in quotes. ;)
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Here's the pilot script pdf for Dexter: http://leethomson.myzen.co.uk/Dexter/Dexter_1x01_-_Pilot.pdf. And here's the script pdf for Diary of a Wimpy Kid: http://thescriptsavant.com/pdf/DiaryOfAWimpyKid.pdf. Both use V.O. Dexter is always in his head, narrating, thinking, commenting. And Greg in Wimpy Kid talks directly to the camera, he narrates his thoughts, etc. Both good examples of V.O. use and format. :)
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Also, keep in mind those two scripts are shooting scripts. They may have more camera direction than you would normally see in a spec script. Regardless, they show the use of writing tools, devices, and screenplay formatting.
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Beth Fox Heisinger you’re the best! Thank you so much!
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