Good morning guys. I'm up early doing some writing before the sun rises and starts forcing itself on the darkness-how rude.
But, my love for the stillness of night is another subject for another time.
What I would appreciate your input on is...Character Description! When you first introduce a character, right, what are the necessary descriptions that should be given. Do you need to include age, ethnicity, background (like career), attire, etc? What is the standard, without over writing the description, but also not giving too little? What is enough as the description?
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Curious you asked, I was reading this article from John August a couple of days ago, here it is: https://johnaugust.com/2007/how-to-introduce-character
Ah! Thank you very much for sharing Alan M. Cossettini Gives some interesting insight.
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Hair, gender, age, possible makeup, race and then attitude.
INT. POLICE INTERVIEW ROOM.
AMY, 20’s thin with a pixie haircut. She sits slumped and disinterested, this isn’t her first rodeo.
Oooo! Thank you very much for that info and example Craig D Griffiths I'm getting a better grasp of what's necessary. Appreciate it Craig!
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Only include what is important for the story, and that includes age. If it really doesn't matter, don't use it.
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@Alan Thanks for the share, cool read! “Intriguing titbit” I totally agree any character introduction needs that. Also “Iceberg effect” where there is indication to a lot more underneath character. @All I try to make my character intros organic, so reader FEELS something. Also have them doing something that RAISES QUESTIONS in readers mind, so that they want to know more. Overwriting a character intro and giving clumsy information dumps, draws the reader away from the story you want them to follow. Eg Knowing John Doe is a medical student is pretty boring but having a glass bottle containing a pickled embryo in his bag, gives it a bit more hook. Obviously we need their physical description, to be able to “SEE” them Eg Skinny blonde, mid thirties etc etc but we also have to “FEEL” their presence jump off the page!
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Also can add a hint of what character might SOUND like. Eg Comic book Geek, Soccer Mom etc etc. Above all don’t make character Intro Stock, and don’t waste valuable page space with words that only serve a literary purpose. Make intro immediately compelling to reader, and it will stand better chance, even if a script is good a weak character can kill it.
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You'll probably get a wide range of answers on this. You read scripts, and you can see how it varies from writer to writer, and from writer-director to writer-director.
I always put age, or at least age-ish. It's important for my reader to know that the character is 18, and not 60-ish, and vice-versa.
With regards to emotional/physical traits, I only put a short sentence that conveys just what I feel is quickly needed to understand the "essence" of my character as it relates to the story, like "18 going on 30," or "40, with eyes sadder than they should be"
I want to keep it succinct and relative, and jump into the story and character in action as quickly as I can on page one.
Best fortunes to you in your creative endeavors, Imo!
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Always age and important relationships to other characters (parents, children, extended families, business relationships). For my franchise scripts, I also put in ethnicity if necessary (for most of the main characters, it was necessary).
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Debbie Croysdale I like the "comic book geek" description. Just used it for one of the characters in my low budget horror script I'm writing. Perfect fit. Gratzi
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Bill Costantini eyes sadder than they should be - wow, great descriptor
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@Brian COOL glad to be of assistance, thanks for keeping me in the frame.
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@Bill I agree with Brian about “Eyes sadder than they should be” being fabulous description. One immediately FEELS PATHOS and if reader older than character, also motherly/fatherly Etc.
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Read stacks of scripts and steal what you like. Think about actions before and after character intro. Below is what I think is great writing. 0 talking.
INT. SUNLIT BEDROOM - DAY
QUICK FLASHES: Skin on skin. Bodies intertwined. Connected. Moving. A WOMAN and A MAN. In sync.
INTERCUT WITH: The woman getting ready. Beautiful, fierce eyes. Toned body slipping into clothes. Hair. Make-up. Jewelry.
Snippets of the man watching. In love. In awe.
The light is always perfect. Almost ethereal.
Final touch - the gun. She picks up a tiny, but cold-blooded Ruger LCRx .38 Special, and slips it into an SOB holster.
Now we get our first full view of the woman. Her name is LEXY. Late 20’s. Buorica. Certified intensity, but with an easy smile. Thrill seeker. She kisses the man and walks out.
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Nice add Dan. It is a well written intro. What's the definition of "buorica" in that last paragraph?
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Buorica is New York street slang for "don't fuck with me." :))
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Thanks Dan. One word that says four/more... nice. I like it. No wonder Google search didn't want to translate it/give its definition. Haha.
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Writing "Solus Sum", I kept my characters vague in description. This leaves it open for me in casting. I mention age ranges only, the rest is open
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You guys are awesome! Really summoned it up nicely in your responses and examples. I appreciate it! I've definitely seen so many different descriptions as I read one script to the next, so it helps getting your views to kind of narrow down a method to the madness.
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@Dan. Nice one “Buorica”. I’m getting some tee shirts printed this weekend. Hee hee.
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Before I stumbled onto Stage 32, I used to list characters' height ranges and body shapes as well as characters' ages and traits. But now, I restrict character descriptions to age and traits...unless (and I'm learning to keep that to a real minimum) one character mentions another's physical attribute(s) in the dialog.
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Ah! Great insight Jim Boston and Nick Assunto - Stage32 Script Services That's for sharing your advice. Appreciate it. Definitely helps create a picture of the whole
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My favorite character description so far was from "I, Tonya." Shawn Eckardt was introduced simply as: "Obese and delusional. Not a good combination." No patter about him wearing the same windbreaker and mustache he had when he was 16. We knew all we needed to in seven words. That whole screenplay was great about keeping descriptions and actions very simple.
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Personally speaking, I don’t really care for the huge, character-intro-dump paragraph as if giving some stats report or police profile. Rather I prefer intros that keep that first description mention to a minimum and expose tidbits of a character’s personality or situation through the action. Intros are better when they artfully showcase a character. When they create a drip, drip, drip of information. A character’s intro can create quite the image over several pages or through a scene. Then, the character is further built upon throughout the story. It’s better to lure a reader in and make them want to know more. A character should feel or have the sense that she/he has been living way before the story even takes place. Many intros just plop in some character “poof” as if they magically now exist, expecting a reader to remember those thrown-at-them stats. Connection with a character is usually best created through action and over many scenes. And I love little bits that are not technically “visual” but yet create a great sense of a character. Creates an instant image. I see non-visual sentences or little tiny novelistic elements used extremely well. Used judiciously and effectively. They’re fantastic. Examples:
One intro that did something fun with the age. From Butter: “This is LAURA PICKLER and her age is none of your business.” That cracked me up when I read it. I knew exactly what type of person is implied. What she looks like, how she would behave, her attitude, etc.
An example from John August: “Jeremy’s MOTHER is two valiums and three stiff drinks into the afternoon. She’s trying to figure out how to work the disposable camera.”
From Justified: “Ava sits alone, picks at a wedge of cherry pie. When a man sits down across from her, she looks up with the beginnings of a loving smile — only to discover her former father-in-law, BO CROWDER. Yeah, the lion is out of his cage. He’s grinning, but everything about him radiates menace.”
Love it.
Anyway, of course, there are countless options and different opinions when it comes to character intros. My two cents, don’t just adhere to expectations but rather create meaningful moments that are effective and meaningful to the story. Because no matter what, the writing should also be entertaining. ;)
Thank you guys Stephen Floyd and Kay Luke appreciate you taking the time to give some much helpful feedback and insight.
Oh Beth Fox Heisinger I appreciate this! Very detailed breakdown. Always great getting a look from your perspective. As informative as ever, and summed up a lot on what I wanted clarity on. Thank you