Hello everyone, right now I am working on a new script about something that actually happens, I would like to know your opinion about my logline:
Robert is a young albino from Tanzania raised in America, after the death of his grandmother who lives in Africa, he decides to go in search of his roots, the only problem he ignores, is that albinos are hunted to death in some parts of Africa, and he is about to go to one of them.
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Hi Kervin,
That's a really interesting premise - and true (about people with albinism being hunted in parts of Africa). The logline needs some work with the clunkiness, to be sure, but I really like that premise.
After the death of his grandmother, a young American albino returns to search for his roots in Tanzania, where people with albinism are hunted like animals so their body parts can be used in witchcraft rituals.
Or something like that. But I really like that premise.
Best fortunes with that story and with all of your creative endeavors, Kervin!
P.S. You've probably seen this story in the L.A. Times, but here is the link in case you haven't read it.
https://www.latimes.com/world/africa/la-fg-malawi-albinos-hunted-2017-st...
Try this one:
"After the death of his grandmother, young albino man goes in search of his roots in a region where people who lack dark skin are hunted for sport."
Sounds like the seed of a good story. Have you thought about what the protagonist has to gain/lose during their journey? Who might have an interest in getting in the way? And do you have an idea of how the story will end?
Stephen Floyd right now Im working in constructing my characters, what has to gain ??, well, Let me put this straight, Robert, is an autentic proud BLACK MEN, you know he is proud of the black culture, but just for his albinism, he feel sometimes like a outsider, for this, after his grandma death, he goes into this trip to africa, what he has to lose?, well, HIS LIFE for start, getting in his way, well Mayimbe, he is the men forced to hunt down robert.
Bill Costantini i like your logline, i gonna to consider it
A young Tanzanian raised in America returns to Africa in search of his roots only to discover albinos are hunted to death.
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While attending a family funeral in rural Africa, a young American must fight witch hunters after his albino skin.
as it happens to all of us at some point, he made a hasty decision, his parents hid it and he didn't tell them he was leaving, that is part of the drama so far