DON’T BECOME A SCREENWRITER
By Kay Luke
Don’t become a screenwriter; you’ll probably never make a sell.
You’ll just sit there with the keyboard, trapped in your private hell.
“Will the girl escape? What will the Hero say?
Maybe a catchphrase is what I need to make this damn thing pay!”
Twelve times I sent out a query
Six of them answered “to dreary”
Three of them said “to expensive”
And one even said “It’s too pensive.”
One didn’t answer at all,
But the other guy gave me a call
“I love it!” he said, “just a few things it needs
Change the peace into war and make the stars bleed.
It’s about money you see, and the viewers they like
Stories of misery, murder and strife.”
Don’t become a screenwriter;
They’ll call you a hack
When your beautiful scene
Is cut from the screen
In favor of a zombie attack.
I worked on that script for over a year
They killed the project while we drank beer.
At least I got option money, some might say
But this is no longer back in the day.
So I took the option money I had accrued
And blew every last cent on some real good Thai food.
Then as I sat at the bar and cried in my beer,
A Star came in and sat down quite near.
Some students began to speak of their dreams.
And right about then, my phone started to ring….
Don’t become a screenwriter;
Too many ups and downs,
And way way too often you have to deal with clowns.
Sometimes you’re rich, (but usually poor),
You’ll think you’re an artist, they’ll think you’re a whore.
Who needs all that stress, glamour and excitement?
Be smart, stay away from Hollywood enticement.
Just get a job, have a life, take the kids to school.
Write the Christmas card every year and be nobody’s fool.
And when it’s all just too much and you got to get away
You can watch my movie—it comes out Saturday!
YEAH! Poetry is Alive'
1 person likes this
If succesful you want to be,
Write what people want to see.
I don't follow this advice,
Maybe I am not that sage.
I'm not sure if that's right,
I'm just saying, if I might
Though things aren't what they seem
Don't let no one steal your dream!
PS: I got a comedy movie idea a while ago about a teen cursed to only speak in rhymes. Please feel free to use it!:)
That's an episode of Bewitched!
I knew there was an artist in there. ;)
You (the collective noun) should not be a screenwriter (collective noun for people bullied into following formula and being like everyone else).
Then the poem works.
If you are an original voice that ignore “the rules” and only does things in service of writing great stories. Welcome, come on in, the water is fine.
I loved it !!
I too am a dreamer that has nothing to lose.
At least they did not tell you they wanted Smurvin to play the lead..
This is a badass poem. Or post. Whatever you want to call this, it is badass. Love it.
1 person likes this
I went ahead and shared it on Twitter. Hope you don't mind.