HI All, I'm so late to this party it's not even fashionable. I've written my first feature screenplay! It's called Round n' Round, A Woman Takes on Her Life's Journey. I'm constantly working on the log line but the premise of the story is - bold, so hang on here...The protagonist takes on her life's journey after meeting a young guy she becomes convinced is the incarnation of a child she chose not to have in her early twenties and wants to explore other opportunities she never explored. The foundation for most of my projects is about personal transformation and interconnection. I have a novel in the works and an essay I wrote for my memoire, Recipes 4 Survival, Make It On Your Own is going to be included in an anthology titled Turning Point Moments.
I live and work,(PartTime!) in Manhattan as a Health Supportive Private Chef for a philanthropic celebrity couple in their 80's. I'm recognized as a conceptual artist.
I'm days away from submitting my script to the Female Driven script contest. Wish me luck. Anyone that wants to hold me accountable or cares to hear the logline of the hour - I'm all ears and heart.
Looking forward. I wont' be a lookylou anymore. DRG
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Hi Donna, better late than never, right? Congratulations on finishing your first feature screenplay.Good luck with the Female Driven script contest. (Fingers crossed!) Your story idea is quite interesting.
Go for it! I'd love to hear your logline of the hour. :)
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Very Interesting premise Donna :) My best wishes are with you.
Welcome to the community, Donna Goldman. Don't worry. You're not late to the party. Introduce Yourself Weekend is from Friday to Monday (the third of every month).
Your script sounds bold and unique. Here’s a logline template that might help:
“After ______ (the inciting incident/the event that sets the plot in motion), a _______ (an adjective and the protagonist's position/role) tries to _______ (goal of story) so/in order to ________ (stakes).”
Loglines are one or two sentences (a one-sentence logline sounds better and it takes less time for a producer, director, etc. to read it). You can add the antagonist in the logline.
The inciting incident can also be at the end of the logline: “A _______ (an adjective and the protagonist's position/role) tries to _______ (goal of story) so/in order to ________ (stakes) after ______ (the inciting incident/the event that sets the plot in motion).”
Avoid using names in a logline (unless it's a Biopic or a famous story -- like a fairy tale). Use an adjective and the protagonist's position/role instead of a name.
Avoid using “must” in loglines because “must” sounds like the protagonist is forced to do whatever the goal of the story is (instead of the protagonist doing it willingly), and “must” doesn’t sound active. Audrey Knox (a TV literary manager) also said this during a logline review webinar on Stage 32 (https://www.stage32.com/webinars/The-Write-Now-Challenge-The-Logline-Rev...). Instead of using “must,” use “attempts to,” “fights to,” “struggles to,” “strives to,” “sets out to,” “fights,” “battles,” “engages in,” “participates,” “competes,” etc.
Example #1:
“After a group of dog criminals arrives in a small town, an impulsive dog sheriff defends a dog treat factory so they won’t steal food that’s meant for hungry dog families.”
Example #2:
“A dysfunctional couple works together to survive against bears after they crash on an abandoned road miles from help.”
NOTE: Not all stories will follow this logline template. Biopics, documentaries, and Experimental scripts might not follow this template. The pilot logline and episode loglines for a TV show might not follow this template, but the series logline could.
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The best of luck with your screenplay.
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Hey Donna! Thanks for sharing! Your script sounds really interesting and good luck with the competition! Shoot me a DM or email at success@stage32.com and let me know what you're working on next (when you've finished, don't get distracted when you're racing to the finish line! lol)