THE STAGE 32 LOGLINES

Post your loglines. Get and give feedback.

CIRCUS ANIMALS

CIRCUS ANIMALS
By Frank Hays

GENRE: Animation, Family
LOGLINE:

After a lioness and her cub are abducted by crooked carnival workers, a band of circus animals embark on a dangerous journey to rescue them.

SYNOPSIS:

In a circus, animals are used for entertainment and monetary benefits for their owners. Yet, like any business, the circus isn't exempt from mistreatment and injustice. Where humans lack empathy and use each other unjustly, "Circus Animals" creates an animated world in which animals have their own voice and must save each other from their human owners' faults. The screenplay kicks off, presenting one old dog leading a new one into the circus. The new dog quickly accepts her environment and meets other animals with their own unique personality. Indeed, all the circus animals seem to be living in harmony, happy to entertain people until humans go wrong. A cunning mistreatment of the circus carneys causes them to kidnap the circus' lioness along with her cub. This situation unites all the animals together to seek and free their fellow animals.

Frank Hays

Rated this logline

Tony S.

After their friends are stolen, a band of circus animals embarks on a frightening and dangerous journey to find them.

Frank Hays

Thank you. That sounds great!

Tony S.

You're welcome.

The logline could use a specific antagonist: After [fur traders, poachers, rivals] steal their friends,

Frank Hays

After circus Carneys steal their friends, a band of circus animals embarks on a frightening and dangerous journey to find them. Better?

Frank Hays

After Carneys steal their friends, a band of circus animals embarks on a frightening and dangerous journey to find them.

Tony S.

Second one. Bingo! The only remaining issue is Carny may not be in many people's vocabulary. [Unscrupulous, Crooked, Corrupt] Carnival Workers?

Frank Hays

After crooked Carnival Workers steal their friends, a band of circus animals embarks on a frightening and dangerous journey to find them.

Frank Hays

Thank you!

Tony S.

Welcome. Last one is solid.

Nick Assunto - Stage 32 Script Services Coordinator

Hey Frank the problem is the syntax with "their" it sounds like the Carnival Workers are stealing their own friends is all. Otherwise pretty good!

Frank Hays

After crooked Carnival Workers abduct the lioness and her cub, a band of circus animals embarks on a frightening and dangerous journey to find them.

Tony S.

.Huh?

Frank Hays

Sound better?

Tony S.

a lioness

Everyone’s a critic. LOL Few step forward. LOL

Dustin Quinteros

After a lioness and her cub are abducted by crooked Carnival Workers a band of circus animals embark on a dangerous journey to rescue them. :)

Tony S.

After a lioness and her cub are abducted by crooked Carnival Workers, a band of circus animals embark on a dangerous journey to rescue them.

Frank Hays

Thank you, Dustin and Tony. It sounds great!

Dustin Quinteros

Rated this logline

Brian Largo

Rated this logline

register for stage 32 Register / Log In