THE STAGE 32 LOGLINES

Post your loglines. Get and give feedback.

IT'S ME YOHDEN.
By Taurai Du Plessis

GENRE: Thriller
LOGLINE: A pederast son and a prostitute ally to stop his rapist father's senatorial bid. Uncovering a half-brother and facing a vengeful judge, he must outsmart his evil father to protect rape laws.
Tasha Lewis

Rated this logline

Tasha Lewis

You may want to reword the synopsis a little. I was confused about the gender of the child.

Nathan Kors

Rated this logline

Taurai Du Plessis

Tasha Lewis Sure, am on it, thank you.

Taurai Du Plessis

@Wally alright great will do, thank you.

Tasha Lewis

Here is a resource Side by Side Grammar guide where it places English by whatever language you need.

Taurai Du Plessis

Tasha Lewis Was there an URL you wanted to share with me? I do not see this at present.

Taurai Du Plessis

Barry John Terblanche It is work in progress. Once done, i will post here on the platform.

Tasha Lewis

Tauri Zhanje Amazon.com has it. When you search Side by Side plus languages grammar guide (example Side by Side English and Spanish Grammar Guide which was the one I used for my students). I don’t know if they have Aficans but you can get it for English.

Taurai Du Plessis

Tasha Lewis alright super, thank you for this tip. I am now changing the log line again. I think i nailed it. Here it is:

A pederast son teams up with a brothel prostitute to prevent his rapist father from becoming a Senator. He discovers a half-brother, and when the judge discovers the threat, he must outsmart his evil father before he changes the rape law with holy means.

Tasha Lewis

Another tip. Check out resources like outline worksheets where you can cross reference your corrections and feedback so readers can read and compare.Taurai Zhanje.

Taurai Du Plessis

Hi Tasha Lewis alright on it.

Amazing Kacee

your logline is totally confusing - try rewriting it with a max of 29 words - 25 would be better. Try this A young adult teams up with a prostitute to prevent his father who is a rapist from becoming a senator. because of the rape laws. Taurai Du Plessis

Taurai Du Plessis

Thanks Amazing Kacee

Nate Rymer

Rated this logline

register for stage 32 Register / Log In