So, I'm at the Target yesterday. Toss all of my "Divorced Male / No Kids" purchases (milk, bread, dog toys, 0% sugar yogurt, dog food, dog snacks, bars of dark chocolate, and coffee) onto that slow, spinny, conveyor thing, while "Father of the Year" Jackass is in front of me. He's chewing off the cashier's ear while his adorable little girl stands by his side, enjoying her new Lilo-Stitch plush toy. Now, keep in mind, it's the ONLY purchase being made.
DADDY JACKASS
Hey? Do you know the name of the girl working in the Disney section? She was very rude and gave me a lot of shit when I asked her a few questions.
CASHIER
No sir, I don't. She may be an outside source for Disney and not affiliated with Target. You could check with management.
Daddy Jackass doesn't reply. The cashier rings up the total and Jackass's credit card is denied. He pulls out a second card and it, too, is denied. Third time's the charm. He shoves card #3 into the reader and gains acceptance. After witnessing his credit report unfold before me, my initial thought was: "Dude, the Disney girl is the least of your problems. Sounds like Chase and Visa are about to give you a TON of shit.
Father and daughter exit. Brock steps forward, faces cashier.
BROCK: Did you happen to hear "Father of the Year" cursing in front of his kid?
CASHIER: Nah, I tuned him out about half way through.
I have a new idea for a thriller script currently percolating in my head and that scene would work well.
Would any of my fellow scribes like to share an interesting line of dialogue once heard within earshot, or describe a REAL scene encountered? Would love to know what you've SEEN and HEARD. Plus, did the scene survive the final draft?
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Eavesdropping is a terrific way to improve dialogues and collect new ideas, Bill Brock.
I have a mad story about when I promoted an archaeological exhibition about ancient Egypt in a supermarket when I was a student. A man approached my desk, interested in the topic: he started to talk about his work in the Egyptian Museum in Turin, and it seemed a quite well-educated person; above all, perfectly average.
At one point, abruptly and in the middle of the conversation, he changed his expression and started to claim, more and more angrily, that the devil had sent the dinosaurs to the Earth to prevent the birth of human beings. I was shocked and very happy I was not alone in the hall because he had an incredible change. Luckily, a couple approached for information and he went away murmuring.
Such a plot twist! It would be a good scene for a story, but I'm sure readers would think it's too unrealistic ahah
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Bill, I was at my neighborhood laundromat on 4-28-2025...and a fight between two men almost happened.
These two men had bad blood between them already...in fact, to the point where one (allegedly) threw the other out the laundromat's front window a couple of years earlier. (The front window's still boarded up!)
This time, one man kept telling the other: "I didn't touch you!" A third customer threatened to call the cops when a laundromat attendant broke up the would-be altercation.
Looks like something to build a script around.
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People are nuts. I've seen everything as a former college teacher. And now that being outraged by ANYTHING is rewarded, and taught, society is increasingly bonkers. "You vill own noting, and be happy, or else'-quoting the former WEF guy. And the fools applauded this idea. (He didnt say 'or else', but it was implied.)
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I've pulled so many lines of dialogue from just eavesdropping on others in public. One of my all time favorite lines to use: "Maybe I'll take up smoking so I can die of cancer before I have to pay off my student loans." has appeared in numerous scripts of mine and was overheard outside of a Spec's in Houston
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A nice thriller is always fun? Love it! Those are the most fun to write.
I'm not sure if this counts but one of my favorite things was instantly jotting down quatoables i would hear from friends and re-read and think about how some of the craziest things are said out loud and why sometimes outlandish lines in films were often the best and most fun dialogue!
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Sam Rivera That TOTALLY counts, Sam. I, too, have assembled a hefty list of quotables over the years. Sliding them into my work whenever possible. Keep those ears wide open! : )
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Pat Alexander Wow! Thanks for sharing that classic, Pat. That one speaks volumes! Here’s one I heard about a decade ago and I still can’t shake it— I was in a Men’s clothing store and two guys walk by and one says to the other— “I don’t care WHAT my wife says. I’m still getting the motorcycle.” Wouldn’t you just LOVE to have been a fly on the wall as Hubby entered the house after parking his new steed in the driveway?
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Jon Shallit Agreed, Jon. It’s such a wonderful time to perk up your ears and listen to “the music” flow.
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Jim Boston Friday Night Fights at the local laundry mat and Jimmy Boston has a ringside seat!
“AND IN THIS CORNER, WEIGHING IN WITH A BIG MOUTH IS….” Thanks for sharing, Jim. That scene is a definite keeper. ; )
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Chiara Torrisi Funny how they can just shift into “Devil” territory so quickly. Another great place to find scenes like yours is to visit your local airport, where the verbal assaults between staff and passengers is legendary.
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Bill, you're so very welcome!
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You should change the sequencing.It would be much more interesting if the guys cards were declined and he became increasingly embarrassed, and then displaced his frustration onto the girl in the toy store.