Screenwriting : Off-screen formatting question by DC Harrison

I assume Darryl crawls toward the camera that's located in the room with Mr. Henderson and Mr. Henderson slams the door on him?

Your first example is fine. I wouldn't use the off-screen version, it comes across as a little clunky.

Like Claude says. Do it in action. Describe what the film would be like.

Darryl’s scream barely audible through the door.

Since we already know where he is there is no reason to use off-screen.

We know where Daryl is in this scene so all you need to write is:

We HEAR Daryl's blood-curdling screams.

Hope that helps. :)

You're painting a picture with words.

What picture do you want us to see? That Darryl is locked in a room with something horrible? Or that we're reading a script?

Thank you all. So much I have to learn.

What if Darryl don't scream. Because these horror films are cliche. What if instead of screaming, Darryl giggles.

INT. HOUSE-CONTINUOUS

Darryl looks behind him. TERRIFIED- he crawls frantically toward the door.

Mr. Henderson SLAMS the door and LOCKS it. As Darryl screams, his scream is BARELY AUDIBLE behind THE LOCKED DOOR.

Julia: No, that was not bad info. It's bad writing. Yes, there are well-established writers who use "we see" exceedingly, but we are not well-established writers, and there are readers who will throw away scripts at the first "we see". Don't use it.

Of course,‘WE SEE’ is redundant. Any description of action written in the screenplay is meant to be seen on camera. That’s just common sense.

Speaking as a reader, I have no problem with WE HEAR; but if I see WE HERE, then the reading is over.

Baz: What about WE SEA? :)

Hope all is well there, Baz, and stay safe!

it makes no difference in terms of clarity. It's your script and you are not meant to follow anybody's "rules". Clockwork Orange, remember, was 67 pages long as a script. What matters is story: what is happening in the phsical / sensorial? how to make the crash of logic v gut more powerful? The real choice, in my approach, is in the timing. I answer these and other substance v form question on Cinemahead.live - Danny A

Danny. The OP asked a formatting question. There are some rules when it comes to formatting a screenplay.