Screenwriting : What's wrong with her? by Mohamed Ali

Mohamed Ali

What's wrong with her?

I feel like this character is missing something or exaggerated in some of its description, beautiful people, What are your opinions? 

"A rich girl who looks like a charming Turkish teen, sharp and dominant. because of her mother's carelessness, the girl is exposed to sexual abuse from her relatives. After post pandemic crisis superiors lives by drugs and a lot of money, She loves drugs and drug dealing not for more money but only to control others with drugs. she cannot prevent herself from harming people, even Her dear friends, she thinks she knows how to control anyone, especially inferiors, after all  she's taught as a child how behaviorists control dogs and mice and that humans are just like a mouse in a maze, both response to external stimuli, at least that's how her father runs his company.

She is used to get what she wants so she looks for things that can't be bought like human souls."

Craig D Griffiths

I know I sound like a broken recorded. But if you question a character, it is likely you don’t understand them as completely as you can. You may not empathise with them,

http://griffithscreative.com.au/creating-great-characters/

Mohamed Ali

Wally Wu Your description is undoubtedly great, but is it enough when I write the character description in the pitch deck ?

Craig Prickett

You've written it like a novelist not a screenwriter.Give us a simple discription of her and if you want us to know she's abused and manipulative etc.Show us that in both action lines and dialogue through the script.It's a visual medium so show don't tell.And let the audience discover the character as all those character traits and character backstory unfold and are revealed throughout the screenplay.

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