Dear Stage 32ers, Over the years as I've met other writers and film creatives, I find that while it's great to be able to exchange work for critiques, help with development, etc., there's a downside. The more people I network with, the more items that end up on my "to do" list for other people. Personally I don't think anyone gets anywhere on the indie side of the business without lending helping hands to each other. But with a finite amount of time to carry on my own projects, I'm feeling the squeeze. How does one balance networking with "No?" Anyone else go through this?
Screenwriting : When it's hard to say "No" by Edward Case
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I keep my circle small so that I can cope with the yes's. And I don't ask for a favour unless I can return it. So I actually only have one person I trade scripts with at the moment. I could add on another, but I value my time for my projects so I would only do that if I felt we could be valuable to each other.
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I have some paying work, as I do more than just write, so I let people know that paying work comes first. Then, usually, if I need to say "no" I am more likely to say I cannot do it right now. But I can follow up when I get some time. This might be six months, but I do check back. Usually it has been done or dropped, but if not, I am still up to help. I find that is the case for life in general though. I have the ability to do a lot of work on electronics and cars as well as construction and electrical. When asked, I use the same answer. However, with those items I tell people I will help them do it and show them how it is done. So it isn't just in this area of life. Pretty much any skill or ability draws a lot of people looking for favors. I have a friend that has "six favor slots" and when they are full he tell people they have to wait for a favor slot to open up. Just another way to draw the line without telling everyone "no".
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Schedule and concentrate on your work first. If you can help/assist others with extra time you have then do it. Never take on more than you can handle, obviously. I would rather be honest and say "no" to someone. I was approached by a writer with a book looking to make a screenplay out of it. I told her I would not do her book justice as it is not a genre I am comfortable with. Just be honest.
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I say no, but give tips whom to ask instead - this is what I call networking.
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I totally understand Dan's and Elizabeth's position, but I've gone more toward C.J.'s approach. And even then, I've been more selective. And I see I'm not the only one to have dealt with this. :)
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I'm ALWAYS in a time crunch so it really depends on the person. I never offer unless it's someone I know will not give me a load shit and even then they have the caveat that this is what I do for living so paying work comes first. 9/10 offer to pay and even then they have to get in line, sometimes it takes weeks, sometimes a month or more. I work 16 hours a day at this and that's the reality. Networking is not reading others' material -- period. Some will scoff that they don't want to pay and they will struggle with their craft until they are willing to take advice from someone who actually knows what they are talking about. If it's a writer's group situation where it's part of that circle and that network, well that's why you joined and that's when you step back and use CJ's advice or drop out of the group.
To add a corollary to this question, how many of you have been asked to do gigs pro bono? It's not just reading other people's material. Sometimes I'm just asked to join this film that's sure to shoot as if I can write stuff in my sleep. I do my best to evaluate who's blowing smoke and who seems like they have a real shot, but part of me thinks I should turn down all such offers out of principle even when I really want my stuff shot.
If you can squeeze it in, yeah, but if not, say no.
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Networking should help both parties but if you are tapped out, then tap out. Just don't pass up big opportunities for you. That's my thought.
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Some things only you can answer, Edward. If you feel good about doing something for free or at a cut rate because you see a future benefit it may very well be worth it. But there are other mutually satisfying ways to network 'on set' -- most regions have 48 hour film challenge where you can meet some great people and actually produce something. Experiences like this are worth it because you do get some satisfaction and knowledge out it. It's really up to you and where you are with your aspirations. If nothing is working than try something like this, if you seem to make steady progress then don't upset the cart.
For me, everything is about the return on the investment - even if it's only good karma. I try to see past the wannabes, or egos, and share with creatives who are hungry to grow! I make time for passionate creatives.
I agree, it can all payoff. I am just saying not to overextend yourself to the point you burn out. Maybe I should have been clearer in my suggestion. Lol
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My honest answer is, if I can help someone, at the time of their asking, I will. If not, I tell the truth and say I would love to help but because of my workload right now, I am afraid that any input I may have for you would be rushed and not meaningful whatsoever. i do not want to do any disservice to someone's hard work and I expect the same honesty from them. If I don't respond at all, my long term network of friends and colleagues know I am truly swamped and respect that.