Hello, my fellow screenwriting eggheads. Let's have some fun! Submitted for your approval is a photo of me taken on the mean streets of Hollywood back in July of 2017. Yep! I'm living proof I survived the experience, yet chances were pretty high that I was sitting in a puddle of some drifter's urine. But what can I say? I suffer for my art.
Your task today, if you wish to participate, is to caption the attached photo with a logline, a slug line, action, or a line of dialogue.
Enjoy your Action-Packed, "Thrills N Spills" weekend. This post illustrates mine.
That is all.
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Bill Brock, a hungry screenwriter (both kinds of hungry), sits on a dirty sidewalk, probably in urine. He wears shades that are cooler than him, a hat turned backward, and shoes with no laces.
A cardboard sign in his hands reads "FREE SCREENPLAY $5.00"
A walking bank, EXEC, strolls down the sidewalk, chatting fast on a gold-plated cellphone.
The exec brakes at Bill, glances at the sign. Bill's face lights up with hope.
EXEC
(to phone)
Hold on.
The exec digs in his pocket. He pulls out a mint, pops it in his mouth. The hope in Bill's face dies.
The exec eyes the sign.
EXEC
What's it about?
Bill jumps to his feet ecstatic.
BILL
It's about a waitress from a small town who --
EXEC
No.
BILL
But you haven't heard my idea --
EXEC
I've heard enough. Too small.
BILL
What's too small?
EXEC
Your story. I need Godzilla-sized stories.
Bill tries to speak, but he's tongue-tied. He sinks to the sidewalk, probably sitting in urine.
The exec notices Bill's shoes.
EXEC
What happened to your shoelaces?
BILL
Breakfast.
The exec laughs, hands Bill a business card.
EXEC
You're funny. Write a Comedy script and call me. But it has to be Godzilla-sized.
BILL
A Godzilla-sized Comedy?
EXEC
Yes. It needs superheroes, a subplot that makes sense but doesn't make sense, and aliens.
Bill's eyes bulge out of socket.
EXEC
And a unicorn.
The exec strolls off, chatting fast on his phone again.
Bill leans against the wall, bewildered. He slides down to the sidewalk, definitely sitting in urine.
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Maurice Vaughan HAHAHAHHAHAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAA! MAURICE! I am STILL LAUGHING as I type this! OMG! I totally wasn't expecting THIS!!!! Dammit, man! This is COMEDY GOLD! Love how you kept circling back to the urine and the description of the EXEC's tall order was spot on! So many great lines here! Personal favs: "Makes sense, but doesn't make sense and aliens." "Godzilla-sized stories." BRAVO, MAESTRO ! TAKE A BOW!! : ) Fun Fact: The sneakers are POLO and they were manufactured without laces. FASHION!!!
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Thanks, Bill Brock. Glad you like it. The scene is basically about writers trying to pitch their smaller stories in a world of big stories/IP. Big stories/IP have their place of course. I just think smaller stories shouldn't be disregarded so easily.
At one time, I was afraid to write Comedy. I thought it would be too hard, but it isn't.
Cool about the shoes. It's like I learn something new every day, and it's like I learn something new to put in scripts every day.
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fun stuff! I’m not as motivated as Maurice but enjoy reading it!
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Maurice Vaughan ….And a unicorn. I’m dying
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You two, I would simply shoot this movie with a mobile phone; costs: $5.00
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The scene was fun to write, Xochi Blymyer. I like these short Stage 32 challenges.
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That part cracked me up too, Amanda Toney. I've learned timing is huge in writing Comedy.
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I agree with all comments. Maurice was just free-stlyin' and look what he created. Grand Slam, dude. Keep swinging for those comedic fences! : )
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WRITER
Whaddya looking at, clown? They took my shoelaces away at the funny farm. So what! Goldman never once had laces on his shoes.
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Thanks, Bill Brock. Appreciate the motivation.
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When a screenwriter floats existentialism on the Hollywood Stock Exchange for $5 a share, plus a takeaway coffee cup which may or may not contain the elixir to original concepts, he becomes the Tony Montana of script coverage, the world is his... or is it?
[Rumour has it that Nicolas Winding Refn has expressed interest in this project]
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Hey Maurice Vaughan, your little sketch is big with shine!
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:) Thank you, Robin Gregory. I appreciate it.
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Maurice Vaughan, geniuuuussss!!!!
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When a desperate screenwriter turns to the streets of Hollywood to get noticed for his latest work, he meets an unconventional film executive and soon discovers that urine puddles were the least of his problems.
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Thanks, Ty Strange and Reuben D. Gregorich.
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"and soon discovers that urine puddles were the least of his problems." Haha Abeeha Alam
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Thanks, Maurice Vaughan
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You're welcome, Abeeha Alam.
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OK.
An unaccomplished, desperate screenwriter finds truth and love after journeying through the crazy and zany streets of Hollywood looking for the escort who became a hit producer after selling the screenplay she purchased from him on the sidewalk for $5.
The genre would be comedy. I think.
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Thanks, Everyone, for these STELLAR contributions! This was a lot of fun! Remember, kids-- The party is BYOU..... Bring Your Own Urine!