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By J R O'Hara

GENRE: Drama

Desperate, and running out of time to save her family home from foreclosure, a middle school teacher becomes a high-end escort, when a wealthy client rapes her she plots revenge and a payday by kidnapping his wife for ransom.

Angela Cristantello

Hey there, JR! I would love to know more about why/how this teacher becomes an escort because even if she's deeply in debt, that's an incredibly large jump to make. (And how much debt are we talking? Is this $20K of credit card debt, or is she at risk of losing her house?) Relatedly, it would be helpful to know that much more about our protagonist beyond "teacher". What other traits/adjectives could you add that would inform us that much more about who she is and, therefore, both why she makes this decision to become an escort AND what in her might snap so that she'd go full vigilante following an assault?

Interesting start, though!

J R O'Hara

Hi Angela. Thanks for the feedback. I understand that it's a large jump, and I believe I make it work in the script. Her debt is more than $200k. Loglines are always challenging.

Alice Carter

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Sian Brennan

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Sian Brennan

Hi JR. I agree. Loglines are challenging. In my humble opinion to attract more attention I would mention the drastic change of occupation sooner. ie. A teacher becomes an escort........Tis but a thought.

Nathaniel Baker

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B A Mason

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