Screenwriting : Tone: How does form empower tone? And how does tone empower form? by Beth Fox Heisinger

I think the specifics of how you imbue your script with 'tone' are very difficult to articulate, I'd suggest that consistently applying tone is what creates a writer's voice.

And in my experience, it is practice and continued learning that develops this, I don't personally believe there's any real shortcuts to this.

Your story's tone (and texture) is indeed vital to its success. I think it's the result of your writing style, the rhythm and flow, its cadence, character development through dialog and action/inaction... But it is also dependent on its significant/intended audience. The overall story tone (its flavor) is foremost in my mind as I write a script. But I'm old, so maybe I'm wrong.

Hey Beth, Anthony, and Doug,

Tone and style are paramount and sometimes aren't established right away as you write and have to figure out what your tone is at a later date. I currently just finished a comedy and it takes place in the Swiss Alps. My tone is campy, ribald, odd- ball and everything that's corny and swiss related with broken language with as I call it, a tongue through cheek way of doing things. Tone can be confusing. Sometimes I think it's magic when you hit on the right tone and do not copy anyone elses. Hmm! More thought to this and some more thought on that! Warm Regards, RJN

Tone is one of those touchy-feely, ambiguous sorts of characteristics that is difficult to specifically describe - but you'll feel it if it's there. A flat script may have life breathed into it by a Director, by Actors... But as usual, I may be entirely wrong.

HAHAHA! Jesus Christ, Doug. ROFL

Great comments, thank you! ;) Yeah, only I'm not talking about voice (or style) here (yes, tone is absolutely associated with voice), but rather how to consider using it consciously, strategically. Take MOONLIGHT for example, its personal and lyrical tone is further enhanced by the choice to structure it as chapters, also in the way it limits information, withholds... That distinct structural choice gave it a "memory-like" quality, which perfectly supports the overall personal tone. Structure empowering tone. ;)

Doug, sure, much can help down the line. But a flat, dry, lifeless script may not go further. I barely get past page one, and I'm just reading... Plus I'd like to talk about this subject from the spec writer perspective. And first things first, we must evoke a story on the page. ;)

But he could be wrong. :D (I <3 you, Doug - just having fun.)

C Harris, any thoughts on the thread topic?

I probably struggle with tone and maybe my approach is wrong. I try to set tone through Scene introducing Action lines combined with character dialogue but I bet I just come off as 'forcing' tone (through the cardinal sin of 'directing'). I know some people like to set tone by adding specific music/songs (whether modern like GOTG or classical like 2001 or Platoon/Apocalypse Now). However I think Beth makes a good point, part of setting "scene" is setting tone as well. IMHO I think form creates tone and then once tone is established it affects form in return.

Honestly, I just write. I go back in and format it later. If it's scenes that come to me, I use placeholders for characters if needed, then arrange them later. If it's the characters that "speak" to me, I write that then find something for them to do. If it's a comedy, I make it funny; if it isn't, I usually still end up with something funny. :D

If you're referring to tone as in atmosphere, I tend to rely on elements outside of the script - but I definitely "direct the camera" and use a bunch of tricks of the trade everyone says we should NEVER, EVER use... so. I don't think about half of this stuff, honestly. I don't write drama, but that and horror (thriller, et. al.) are the only times I can think of where the "tone" might not fit. Anything other than that, it basically works or it doesn't - and I know that's simplifying things, but... in a nutshell.

It's a good discussion, but I really don't have much to add to it other than to tell Doug to let it go. We all like you and appreciate your input, Doug! :D

I know one: Light-hearted comedy vs. "dark" comedy - and also, maybe, "broad" vs. "grounded" comedy. But you can still have a light-hearted comedy with black humor.

I dunno, still doesn't work. If you mean "tone" as in Voice, I believe a writer's Voice always come through unless you're mimicking (ghostwriting, Truman Capote); if you mean "tone" as in atmosphere, that's a deeper, broader discussion. Like Doug said, it's one of those nebulous terms that can be interpreted differently.

Yeah, great point, Chad. It is difficult to write with comprehensive tone—that's something that keeps me up at night. Lol! Tone is something that I recognize pretty easily in writing, or in film, or in art, or in music, but facing it in one's own work is a whole different matter entirely. Lol! I think it's helpful to be thinking about tone before you even start a script... It's switching your mind to: not only what I want to accomplish or say, but how do I want my reader/audience to feel.

C Harris: As previously said, I'm talking about utilizing tone as a strategic choice, an element—not voice/style, not formatting, not camera directions. Tone can be specific to a particular script—how you construct/deliver story information to further support tone. Perhaps see my comment above about MOONLIGHT as an example. ;)

Oh, I saw this analogy and thought it funny.... Okay, maybe weird... Think of tone like cooking: breaking down and utilizing ingredients to get a complete sense of a dish. While a cook may have a particular style, not every dish is the same nor has the same flavor.

I know what you are saying, I'm just trying to wrap my bean around it. Like I said, I'm not really able to come up with good examples. I need to eat and work it around. :D

Tone and genre - are they related?

Haha! C Harris. Well, what I'm saying, or rather talking about is utilizing form, or manipulating elements to create effective tone: structure, scene descriptions, character moments, dialogue, details, etc, etc.

Well, tone is not genre. In a nutshell, or my understanding: Tone is the point of view or attitude or expression the writer brings into the material. Mood is emotion. Genre is a type (or category) of literature/film with recognizable conventions—the same conventions grouped together. Tone is often a piece of that genre recognition, a part, i.e., thrillers tend to have a dark tone. Likewise tone is often part of voice/style.

I do know what you mean - I'm not being obtuse - it's just that I refer to what you are defining as "approach," but you can certainly refer to it as "tone." As Doug mentioned, if I am writing comedy, I try to write the entire script in a humorous way - even if that means breaking the "rules." If it's genre, that usually involves action/drama, but (as I said) I don't really write drama, so I try to make it read fast - "action!"

I was thinking about Steel Magnolias in this context: Is that a Drama with comedic elements, Comedy with dramatic situation(s), or the rare actual dramedy - despite how much some insiders may hate that term? And what is the "tone" it strikes? In that sense, it would be pretty uneven - since it begins lighthearted, then gets heavy, then ends on a happy note - but I could agree that the "tone" was muted, or somber, which is invocative of atmosphere. :D

That's why I was wracking my brain to come across a really good example... and am still working on that.

Yeah, interesting point, John. But in reading many spec scripts written by others... Sometimes I sense some writers seem to not think about the reader or their experience with the script at all. Those writers seem to not think objectively about their own work. And tone is so vital to entertainment. So when I say, "not only what I want to accomplish or say, but how do I want my reader/audience to feel," I am talking about tone, but also rather dancing around this notion of "self-indulgence," for lack of a better word, that writers sometimes have—me included. What I may feel while writing a script may not translate on the page. And when focusing on tone, how I want someone else to feel, I find that I better focus on craft. How a script works alone outside of myself, as a product, as a piece of entertainment. Does that make any sense? LOL! So I also see tone as a vital tool.

C Harris: One of my favorite film examples for tone is FARGO. The way language is used... Geez, it's just super! :)

I never go into anything thinking about stuff like that, actually - unless I've sat down and somehow plotted it out, which I never do (but I'm learning, just to streamline the process). I do all of that in rewrite. I have so many looky-loos and eyeballs over here, that I make damn sure to entertain my "readers" from jump. I generate "buzz" the moment my hot, little fingers strike keys. ;)

But I go back through and rewrite everything dozens, sometimes hundreds, of times - especially jokes, which often don't sound the same on the page as they need to be delivered (they can be really hard to write, even if you know the reader knows what you're going for). That's when I pay attention to nuance like tone, atmosphere, and so forth. Like I said, all of these things are "elements" to me - characters, plot, atmosphere, music, dialogue - and I rarely know stop to consider any of it too deeply on the first go-round in particular.

The rough is exactly that: Stereotypes, contrived plot points, easy laughs - whatever comes out. Sometimes it's great, most of the times it needs a lot of work, but all of that is added in rewrites.

Also (because Amazon just suggested a slew of movies related to a project I'm working on since I watched a couple in the genre the other night), I really don't like to watch movies/shows similar to anything I'm working on, because I have a bad tendency of mimicking them. It's hard to avoid when working on established properties, or in a lot of sub-genres because they have specific "beats" and tropes you have to include. I absolutely do watch that stuff, as I should, but I have to wait a while to write afterward, otherwise the "tone," "atmosphere," "mood" - whatever you want to call it - is reflected I what I write.

The same is true when I write to music: If it's aggressive, loud music, I tend to write similarly; if I listen to Classical, I start worrying about all the nuance and so forth - that kind of thing. :D

Like I said, I know what you mean by "tone," but it's really an umbrella term that's difficult to discuss without mentioning all the other stuff we've brought up. Fargo's a good example, because the dialogue was played for laughs despite the fact that the subject matter is so grim. I still consider that use of comedic relief - even when discussing such disturbing stuff - an approach; the tone of that film would be "distant." It's very clinical in its ability to make light of such things - the way soldiers, cops, and EMT workers do. But, without that comedic relief, it would have been too hard to watch, and really would have just been a doc.

Well, that's where we disagree, C Harris. I find tone very easy to discuss. Lol! :)

Well, what would you say is the tone of Steel Magnolias and Fargo (since we brought those up)?

Another important aspect for tone is to be consistent throughout. Tone on those first pages sets the expectation for the rest of the script. ;)

C You brought up Fargo and I certainly agree with your question - just what is the tone of Fargo? Being a whacko old man - I see a lot of humor in it.

The Coen brothers are kings of tone. In FARGO, it's bleak, hilarious, and very very human. They masterfully use language, structure, character and colloquialism, "Minnesota Nice," to create such a vivid impression. They create a turn on the common noir theme of evil goings-on in a seemingly wholesome Middle American locale, but with great regional specificity. It's absolutely fantastic. FARGO is one of my all-time favorites. BTW, I'm a native Minnesotan, born and raised. ;)

I was going to say (for Steel Magnolias) Melancholy! Is that what you mean by "tone?" Because I equate delivery with approach. I definitely agree that their use of Minnesota patois set a "wholesome" tone, now that you mention it. I promise I'm not being a wang; I just wasn't really clear. It's like when someone uses a non-food term to describe wine! If someone says, "This wine is symphonic!" I totally get what they mean, but were they to ask me, "What wines do you find symphonic?" I'd be slackjawed.

Now I'm watching this stupid B-movie, trying to figure out it's "tone." lol

Great discussion Beth, very informative. As Elmer Fudd would say "the empower has new clothes"

I take back "melancholy" - that's not at all what I meant. The word I'm thinking of starts with a "m" (I think), but that's not it. I'm about 20 minutes in, and I am still seeking for the tone of Death Machine.

On a more serious note, I'd much rather discuss this kind of thing than formatting, or the first 10 pages, or any of that stuff - the people you want to read your mss definitely look for stuff like this. That's also one of the reasons I'm struggling to grasp it from your perspective (so I sound super-smart). Between visual art and music, I am simply unable to get it to sink-in right now. Sorry. (It will suddenly bowl me over when I'm nowhere near a computer a week from now or whatever.)

I promise you I'm going to apply this to Death Machine, but I will not be reading the script.

I much prefer to talk about these things too, more so than formatting... The overused broad stroke notion of a screenplay as a blueprint does not quite acknowledge or address the complexities and plight of the spec writer working alone...

To quote from a fantastic book I highly recommend, "Writing for Emotional Impact; Advanced Dramatic Techniques to Attract, Engage, and Fascinate the Reader From Beginning to End" by Karl Iglesias:

"Emotional contact with the reader is the only strategy for success. To begin, you must shift your perspective. It's time to move from thinking about a movie audience to writing for a reader. Your experiences in a movie theatre are caused by the unified craft of about 200 artists, whose contributions result in a final product you're watching on the silver screen. You experience emotions from the musical score, the editing, the cinematography, the directing, the set design, etc. Reading is a personal activity. It's just between the reader and the page, one individual connecting with the words. A reader will only experience emotions from your words and how you string them together on the page. You're the only person responsible for the reader's emotional response. If it's not a desired response, if he/she is bored instead of captivated, that's it. Game over. Still think screenwriting is easy? Sure, it's easy to write 110 pages in proper format with slug lines, description, and dialogue. Keeping the reader interested and moving him/her emotionally is another story."

Also from the book: "It's time to move from superficial rules, page templates, and principals to practical skills and techniques that cause the desired emotional experiences in the reader."

So strategically thinking about tone is incredibly important. ;)

My best notes on "tone" and "voice" show that "tone = writer's attitude" and that "voice = "writer's personality", so I would say that both "tone" and "voice" are a part of the DNA/fabric of a writer's work and skill level, and that "form" is a vehicle for both of those elements to exist and hopefully shine.

Like any literary devices.....one first has to understand that they exist....and that it then takes many, many levels of progress and growth as a writer to actually master them.

Bill C: So, therefore... we must progress and grow, should we not? Lol! ;)))

Dan M: While I'm sure some bribery and "favors" may be at play, as you keep telling us stories... Lol! ;) I personally struggle with that notion of industry cynicism, because most working professionals that I have met are quite the opposite, very generous, open, highly intelligent and talk more about doing hard work—a lot of it. My first professional contact was with a former V.P. of Development with United Artists, she developed Thelma and Louise, Braveheart, to name a few, she then mentored me for a while... So she really set my "idea" or expectation for the industry.

Anyway, yes, totally agree... tone is hard to do. And some are able to just do it naturally.

I've gotten to the point where I have read so many scripts that I too, like any reader, I suppose, can discern all I need to know from that first page. And tone, and style are what makes the difference—the intangible. Sure, a great concept pulls you in too. But this heightened awareness has made me zero in on those aspects within my own development—for better or for worse. Lol! When I read a script through to the end, I'm even more aware of the strings being played throughout to maintain a comprehensive tone. 'Cause when writing you cannot just focus on those precious first 10 pages, it's gotta be captivating on every page. Those are the scripts you just can't put down. ;)

I can't remember receiving a direct bribe when I read scripts but I've been taken to dinner and been invited to some swanky pool parties - and strangely enough, questions about certain scripts seemed to arise. It was just a part of the business in those olden days.

Beth, you were discussing Fargo. My personal reading of that script gave me a pleasant tonal feeling that is based mostly on the use of the very regional dialog and the sparse exposition. This was carried into the film wonderfully by the actors who delivered the lines in a believable and compelling manor. The Director imbued the film with much tone by use of long, bleak shots and excellent scene blocking. I'm saying that the tone of the finished film is established by many more than just the writer, but that it is the writer who plants the tonal seed.

As writers, we all have certain characters in our desk drawer that we call upon from time to time to interject spice/flavor into our scripts. Some of mine are that cute young blond air head valley girl, Professor Hazmat, I got a shrimper from that thin slice of life along the Texas coast... and many others. I bring some of them together in some environment and pay a lot of attention to the dialog. That's where the tonal seed is planted in your script and it was masterfully done in Fargo.

It's the Director/Actors who paint their tonal take on the silver screen. A different Director/Actors could take that script off in many directions. Imagine how Hitch would have done it.

But as always, I could be wrong.

"Tonal seed"—yeah, makes sense, I like that, Doug. Lol! :) The brilliance that is FARGO is because the Coen brothers both wrote and directed the film. They also are native Minnesotans, born and raised. So they are well-versed on all things Minnesotan—they exaggerated, of course. As a native Minnesotan myself, the only thing that bothered me was the phrase "you becha"—that's a bit off. True Minnesotans just say, "you bet." "You becha" is considered rather flamboyant, showy... So, ya know, them Coen brothers, they were just being, whatcha call... "hyperbolic." Yah. Just in a general kinda way. ;)

Beth: no doubt. Not to scare off anyone...but the competition (and writing standard) for anyone trying to sell a script or gain reputable representation are the people who are writing professionally.

We write a lot in these forums about our favorite scripts....award-winning scripts...etc..etc. Those people like the Coen Brothers, Mark Mallouk, Nicole Riegel, Taylor Sheridan, etc. are the competition, and the contemporary standard. They are great writers. And Dan MaxXx keeps mentioning Barry Jenkins, who wrote the screenplay for Moonlight, which was based on Tarell McCraney's play In Moonlight Black Boys Look Blue. Mr. McCraney won a Genius Grant in the MacArthur Fellows Program a few years ago. That's your competition, too, and probably even to those who are writing low-budget B or C screenplays. Well...kinda....but you get what I'm saying.

So yes...progress and grow as much as you can if you are trying to become a proficient writer and want to join the ranks of the people I mentioned above. Good Luck and Happy Writing, everyone!

Right, Bill C, the competition is steep. ;) But the same writing tools and devices that are available to professionals are available to everyone. So learn how to utilize them effectively. Join the ranks? That's not how I see it... Comparing yourself to others is just a really really good way to feel really really bad—in my humble opinion. Depending on your goals... How 'bout learn as much as you can from everyone and from all the resources available to you, and do the work. What I hear repeatedly from "professionals" is just get out there and do your thing. Don't wait. ;)

And getting the discussion back to tone.... ;)

I have been telling y'all to write for readers!!! Readers read your scripts; actors, directors, producers, et. al. rewrite them. :D

And almost all of the people I've met in this industry are actually very cool people who want to get your script to screen... after rewriting it from the ground up over thousands of meetings. ;)

Again though - and last night is the first time I've gotten more than four consecutive hours of sleep in at least a month, so it really may be some mental block - when discussing "tone," Fargo has a home-spun tone and the Coens' approach to setting that tone was their use of dialogue (in addition to other touches - my favorite being the poster of the accordion player in the son's room, where most kids his age would have had a poster of Motley Crue or Britney Spears, whatever the kids these days do).

I agree that tone is set, in part, by the delivery; I disagree that tone is the delivery. BUT AGAIN, I may just be sleep-deprived. :)

Oh, and the tone of Death Machine was... um. You know? :D

So the crux of the matter seems to me that the script's tone (not the finished film's tone) is essentially a function of dialog supported by minimal exposition. I ran across a fun little book awhile age called Speaking American by Josh Katz. It's well worth the price for screenwriters.

Well, yes and no; a lot of exposition (in the script) could be considered an approach - maybe more "scholarly" or "intellectual?" Maybe long paragraphs employed to slow the reader, control pacing - that sort of thing. Again, it's important to separate "approach" or "delivery" (the methodology) from tone (the end result) - and, as you noted, the tone of the script from that of the film.

Thanks for sharing that book, Doug. Sounds great. ;)

Well, the crux of the matter to me is: tone is relevant to everything on the page, not just dialogue and/or exposition. Tone is the way in which you lay out information and infuse meaning and expression, imbue a "sense" into the material that your reader will hopefully connect with and experience. Sometimes when I pick up a script to read... it's mechanically well constructed, all the building blocks are there, and yet... I really have no idea what to think or feel about what I've just read. It's toneless. And a sense of tone also gives a sense of confidence to your reader—I have confidence in what I'm reading so I will continue, I'm in good hands. It sets an expectation. And it seems if a writer doesn't know tone, perhaps it is because that writer hasn't discovered her/his voice yet. You can learn structure, formatting, etc, but tone is all about specific words and specific creative choices. You read something like MUD and the tone is apparent within the first line, hell, in the title. Lol! It is so well written that you don't need to see the film. ;) I said before that the Coen brothers are kings of tone... And what they do so brilliantly is write with different tones: FARGO, TRUE GRIT, RAISING ARIZONA, NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN, etc. Sure, you can recognize their style, their creative imprint upon something, but they easily switch between and use different tones in all their work. Of course, being both the writers and the directors certainly helps too. ;)

This may be a helpful exercise, if you will... Or not. Lol! But sometimes I'll do story notes/ideas about a script that I'm working on... I'll just open a blank document, or I'll use pen and paper, and do a brain dump, just free write about it... I'll start with the genre, the title if I have it, the logline, but then... roll into what it's about, the theme, who it's about, what the POV should be, what approach to take, what are the main turning points, what effect I'm trying to create, etc, etc, any images, or moments that come to mind, character relationships and/or world views, any inspirations, things to watch, study, read to inform the story, etc. It's just this rambling, messy thing... a sketch. Definitely not an outline. And I realized what I'm doing is trying to figure out the tone. What's funny, is that I refer back to that brain dump often as I work. ;)

Sorry, I don't agree with that reasoning; that only certain people can get away with something. Why restrict yourself? Just write it. But write it well. ;)

That's what I do: I create foldersful of pictures, links to music/songs, articles, research - whatever - use Pinterest, Post-Its, anything at my disposal (I have a whiteboard, but it's really small and the hanger-hook thing on the back broke).

Then I just write.

Anything that doesn't come immediately, or needs more research - anything that doesn't just pour out - I simply notate and move on. I don't care about "budget," or how some special effect is going to be accomplished, or whether or not I can get clearance for a song - I don't care! That all comes so much later! And almost none of that is my job. Anyway, I write through whatever doesn't come easily, then I come back and do all the heavy work later.

Again, it may start with a character, or dialogue exchange, or image/scene in my noodle - whatever the entry-point is - and I write down as much of it as I can, then come back later for the rest. That's why I'm so protective of my work until it's done (but I'm learning not to be). I don't "do" Notes on WIP... I find that incredibly insulting.

But I'm working on that... that's a "process." lol

Dan G, I'm sure you do. Lol! And tone does not mean "a slow read." I think of screenwriting as the art of economic writing. ;)

Yeah, I don't have a white board. No room. But I do keep folders as well. They're filled with notes, research and inspiration. ;)

A.S., yeah, that snippet certainly creates an image, thanks for sharing. ;) But because there isn't much context I'm not sure what to feel or think about it. I assume fantasy?

Dan - I'm pretty much with you on this. I think they're analyzing this ad nauseam.

It's just a discussion. Thanks for contributing, Doug. ;)

He could be wrong.

And my sincere thanks to everyone who commented. Your contributions are very much appreciated. It's great to receive your thoughts and insights about and around this topic. Always enjoy a good discussion about craft. Lol! Thanks again for your time. ;)

Not wrong, only difference of opinion and difference of perspective. ;)

Eh, I'm kind of with Dan and Doug on this. I think we can spend wayyyy too much time analyzing this stuff as opposed to just writing. Just write for Gods sake. Really.

Jody, discussing craft is far more interesting to me than debating something like formatting--I'm surprised how long those threads go. Lol! And if not interested then why comment, right? Just saying. Again, thanks everyone!

Tone is the personal touch.

Oh, and I do need to get back to a project. Back to the page. Lol! ;)))

Inappropriate tone can hurt a script and confuse the readers/audiences as to what type of film they are watching. An example might be the serious invasion of aliens for world dominance in "Independence Day, Resurgence" adjacent comedic role inclusions of Judd Hirsch and Deobia Oparei. Just as the viewer is convinced the situation is serious, Hirsch ushers a bunch of children onto a school bus and attempts to outrun a presumed supreme alien badass queen while quipping out jokes, or, a throwback samuria-type Oparei character delivers high-cheesy dialog right before he double-machetes a formidable alien. Some might argue this is genre confusion or poor use of dialogue or comic relief, but it's really misuse of tone.