THE STAGE 32 LOGLINES
Post your loglines. Get and give feedback.
THE MAGIC OF SHIRKAN
By Evelyn Von Warnitz
Born as an oversized cat with preternatural abilities THE MIRACULOUS SHIRKAN fights in successive episodes commissioned by the hidden-kingdom of good-naturenes ghost AMANUNET against the negative power of ARES who shows up in human beings.
THE MAGIC OF SHIRKAN
View screenplay
Register / Log In
Rated this logline
1 person likes this
Hi Evelyn. This seems like an interesting world you're looking to build. The logline is "thick". How can you cut it down. Star with "An oversized cat with preternatural abilities" and then put what he hopes to accomplish and what the obstacles are. Start there and see if you can cut it down by a few lines!
1 person likes this
Hello James. Thank you so much for your nice comment and advice. It is indeed too long. Just here is a lot SHIRKAN has to tell about this world we are living in and how it COULD be better. I will shorten it.
Rated this logline
https://vimeo.com/335493311
Rated this logline
Rated this logline
Rated this logline
Rated this logline
I love the feel and sound of this concept, but for a logline, you are a bit too detailed/long. I advise to remember the logline only needs to set up the initial concept, nothing else. Explanations can be left to the synopsis. Keep it short, sweet, to the point, and intriguing. Make the reader want to know more.
Current in pre-production for an animated series.
Rated this logline
Rated this logline
Rated this logline
Rated this logline
Rated this logline
Rated this logline
Rated this logline
Evelyn Von Warnitz Currently in pre-production? I wouldn't worry about changing the logline. I love the preternatural cat character!
Rated this logline
1 person likes this
@Robin Gregory In production as animated series. Thank you so much for your rating. Check out the Animatic Concept Teaser:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zIeWgA_WUYA
1 person likes this
Evelyn Von Warnitz Cool! Thank you for sharing. I love Shirkan's ruffled collar. :-)