Screenwriting : Create a Win-Win / Exec Etiquette / Relationship-Building by Regina Lee

By the way, the production company I reference created a franchise that made my studio nearly a billion dollars in box office receipts, so this advice is not total BS.

I bore myself... Be yourself, but sell yourself. Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity. Create the win-win.

And this is just one of the reasons why I have zero interest pursuing a hollywood screenwriting career. We all have to evaluate what makes us happy in life and I need warm informal relationships with my team members. I respect many others just want to get on with business, certainly nothing wrong with that :)

As Regina wisely stated in another thread, any writer who wants a screenwriting career in Hollywood has to want it 200% to succeed. We have to accept that for 99.999% of us that's either an unrealistic goal to achieve or unacceptable way to live. It only goes to show the remarkable level of ability and dedication of those who have succeeded - kudos to them. It's something that hit me around 18 months ago, and one of the key reasons that led me to here to help and motivate others rather than pursue a fantasy. Everything I've read since from an executive or working writer has only strengthened my view. The best thing I've ever done for my "career" is take money out the equation, write for free, and form genuine friendships with those who have a mutual appreciation for one another.

Thanks, Regina. I think this is great advice whether you are trying to break into Hollywood or not. I keep writing, learning and meeting new people until that day I might get lucky if I'm prepared.

Hm. Strange, but I still want it and I see win win relationships as nothing to be scared of. You all have it in your personal life as well as in your business life. Even your marriages are beside love and all other nice things :)) win win relationships. So, what's wrong about it? I think it depends on your point of view - like everything. So, I say I give 100% (more is mathematically impossible if you dears please would remember ;-) ) to reach my goal and want to become a famous screenwriter. My win to get your (Hollywood's) win? I am fearless, I have nothing to lose and treat people with respect, but without any fears and can always count on my creativity. We are all human beings and we all need help. So win-win is nothing more than reaching out hands for me and all what I said includes the respect not to waste other people's time.

Thanks, Regina.

Regina, what you write is priceless. It would be fantastic if you could post more advice like that!

Thanks again, Regina, for such fantastic advice! :) Much appreciated!

@CJ, @ Owen - 100% respect your choices. As you may have seen from my other posts, I believe different people have different intent, and a person's intent should guide his decision-making. Just as your intent has clearly guided you well!

Two examples of messaging. If you buy that luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity. Ineffective relationship-building: "Nice to meet you, John Studio Exec! I'm an aspiring screenwriter. Please tell me about the projects you're working on." - Burden on Studio Exec. Does not show preparation. Not ideal first impression. No clear win-win. More effective relationship-building: "I read your Stage 32 blog about X. I'm a thriller writer. My script X was a semifinalist in the 2014 Austin Film Fest screenwriting contest. I met Oren Uziel through the competition. Oren read my script, gave me some notes, and I'm now a finalist in XYZ." - Burden equally shared. Preparation and resourcefulness evident. Strong first impression. Writer sets himself apart from the pack by showing initiative. Clear win-win. Ineffective: "Pleasure to meet you. I'm chasing my dream. Please see my GoFundMe page." Ineffective: "How can I learn more from you?" (Please read my Lounge posts.) Ineffective: "How do I get my Indiegogo campaign funded?" More effective: "I've read XYZ blogs about crowdfunding. If you're thinking about crowdfunding, follow John Trigonis's Twitter; he is The Man! After reviewing 50 campaign pages, I've noted that the best intro videos tend to be X minutes long and show personal stories. I've noted that rewards tend to be XYZ. Successful campaign owners tend to have pre-existing social media profiles and X number of weekly engagements. My goal is to grow my Twitter following by 1000 before I start my Indiegogo campaign. I need a social media strategist, and I can pay $80 for a 2 hours' of social media consulting. Any referrals?" - Shared valuable insights beneficial to everyone. Preparation and resourcefulness evident. Strong first impression. Gives all the info anyone needs. Someone with marketing, crowdfunding, or social media expertise can spend 30 seconds giving a concise, helpful response. Creates a win-win for a social media consultant and for the Indiegogo campaign owner.

Exactly, short, concise, to the point. I love it this way because this is effective communication.

Another way to look at "breaking into Hollywood" (or into any industry where supply outnumbers demand), is to know that the default answer is "no, thank you," but there is a little daylight to turn that "default no" into a "yes." The burden is on you to set yourself apart from the pack and show that you're the needle in the haystack. As a producer, I face the same challenge; I have to add value or the agent will choose a different producer who can be a value-add. Or if I'm being considered as a script/market consultant, I have to show that I'm a value-add - that I'm a win-win.

@Polina, I really appreciate the compliment, but let's please use your reply as an example - where did you just put the burden? Did you share it equally with me, or did you put all the burden on me?

Regina, to find this added value is an art of itself because therefore you need to know the other part very well and best know what he needs or even what his problems are, what he is working on and is looking for. The question is - what win can I offer to someone I don't know to turn his 'no' into a 'maybe' or even a 'yes'? How can one arouse his interest although he already thought 'no'?

@Elisabeth, Ideally, yes, you'd know his/her agenda, but you don't have to. I've already put the burden on myself, and I posted above with examples of "more effective" relationship-building. If you're showing yourself as resourceful and prepared, that is a value-add to an Exec, no matter what his/her particular agenda is and no matter what genres you're writing in. If you didn't show resourcefulness and preparation, I'll likely say, "I don't take unsolicited submissions." If you show your R&P, I'll much more likely say, "Well, you're a thriller writer. That's not my target, but why don't you do XYZ and try to email ABC who went to Cambridge and might want to help a fellow Brit."

Ah, I see. Preparation was clear and resourcefulness is what I use a lot. I would like to add a portion of personality and sympathy. If people don't feel a certain minimum grade of sympathy for each other it won't work either. :)

True, but I think sympathy is a bit too generalized. That's why I use "win-win" or "two-way street." Bring something to the table when you make your first impression. You may have plenty to bring to the table, but are you conveying that to "Hollywood" when you make your first impression? Maybe you have "it," but you haven't learned to convey it. Or maybe you don't have it (yet), and you need to do more personal prep before you're able to make the best first impression. Interpersonal skills are a big part of creating a great first impression (see the Joey comment on Benjello) and building relationships. But so is bringing value and creating a win-win.

Sure, if you read what I wrote then you'll find that I said I would like to ADD a portion of personality and sympathy to what we said before. :)

@Regina. Okay, lesson learned! I was just a passive observer, so now I'm sending you this guy to help lift the burden from your shoulders.

Thanks to those who contributed to this thread. It's valuable to read your thoughts, as I really believe that we should all try to improve our interpersonal skills whenever possible. And it never hurts to say "thank you." So thanks again!

@Joey, inspiring post no matter who your reader is. Joey's invaluable advice on being a "human first" is what I always describe as "being someone we want to be in the room with." The one distinction I'd like to make is this: my personal feeling, and I know some will agree with me and others will disagree, is that you should "be a human" in the room, but when you PM me/us, email me/us, or post on my/our Wall, that's not the forum to chit chat, as I/we simply don't have the time for a lot of chit chat. Others may disagree with me. If you PM me and say, "Tell me about your projects, Regina," or "How can I learn more about you," then the burden is on me to pitch/explain my stuff to you. If you PM me and say, "I look forward to reading your posts and staying in touch in the Lounge," then I feel like that's a good start to a relationship; there is no additional burden on me beyond what else I have to get done today. But nothing is black and white. Maybe the best thing to say is, "always put yourself in the other person's shoes." That's work/life best practice! And I do believe in the win-win.

@Neto, :-)

As ever I'm thankful for the insight into life on the otherside. I certainly won't be bothering you.

@CJ, I said in my 1st post that "I want to learn from you just like you want to learn from me." You're clearly someone who contributes to the conversation. IMHO, you're adding great value to the community and to me. How can I convey that humbly, without sounding condescending? Should I add an emoji? #TonelessTyping "I look forward to reading your posts, CJ, and staying in touch in the Lounge," trying not to add any additional burden to your day!

@CJ, I echo your sentiment; I too am thankful for the insight you provide into the other side.

Great advice, Regina! Thanks for posting.

Rhetorical. How much time do you think I owe the person who just PMed asking, "What can you share about your current work?" How much time would you spend? Who is carrying the burden in this exchange? Rhetorical.

Revisiting this thread and the original post, I find myself comparing our business communication with our script writing. I mean, we all believe in being efficient, right? We understand that our lead characters enter a scene with a need and are prepared in some way to pursue it. We know that doing this concisely, often by identifying our beats, is essential. Well the world of professional discourse is much the same. Like a film reel spinning by in the camera, those busy industry members have a limited POV and capacity. Like an audience sat in a movie theatre, they want to see things moving forward with a clear purpose that justifies their attention. And like an editor in the cutting room, we have to be prepared to trim what's wasting time. So when we communicate with an industry member we have to consider if we are being as concise as we can be? What are the points we are making? Is our need clear and the benefits to them apparent? Are we proactively driving the conversation forward or allowing things to drag? This doesn't mean all cordiality must be lost. There's always room to be friendly and build the relationship. But there has to be a clear purpose and a result both sides feel is worth investing in.

This comparison is going to sound nuts. When you deal with me/"industry member," treat me with the same consideration that you'd give your wait staff in a restaurant. You're there to order, get served efficiently, enjoy your meal, and pay/tip (so it's a win-win). I'm there to make a wage, have a pleasant interaction, and conduct my business efficiently so I don't miss out on other wage-making opportunities. Don't make your waitress/waiter work too hard. Make it a pleasant experience. Be nice. Know what you want to order. Ask only relevant questions. Don't make your waitress/waiter explain every ingredient in the soup, why there's no parking outside, or why the chef took the tomato bisque off the menu. Hope that you'll both want to see each other again. Don't waste the poor waitress's time when she has a lot of other tables to serve. And the waitress will try to respect your desires as well.

As Billy Sunday, who was an evangelist as well as a back catcher used to say his pitcher, "Put it across the plate for Jesus." No fancy windups, just do what you do with grace and economy of motion. Especially when dealing with busy folks.

Quoting CJ: "This doesn't mean all cordiality must be lost. There's always room to be friendly and build the relationship. But there has to be a clear purpose and a result both sides feel is worth investing in."

I don't think I've ever ended any communication with the statement "please tell me about your projects." If I'm contacting someone, I already know about their projects. That's why I'm contacting them.