I am having the hardest time with a rewrite right now. Basically because I'm just being a baby about it. I don't want to do it. I'm afraid to rip the band-aid off. I created this insanely big, too big to even be a viable sample really, sci-fi/adventure/comedy and passed it along to a professional writer friend of mine for his usually tear me down notes and... I have to cut a lot of characters. I'm working on it. But basically I ended up cramming three films into one script. It's too big, and would probably work better as a graphic novel in its current state. I'm going to see what simplifying does, but I just love everything in there so much. It took me a long time to get this thing together. It's basically my dream script. The kind of story I always wanted to tell. And I finally finished a working draft. But from what I'm hearing, it doesn't work as is, so it's crushing my soul.
I took a couple months off and rewrote another feature to decompress on that. But now it's time to get back to it and kill some darlings. I know it's a necessary part of the process, and I usually love cutting stuff, but I spent so much time building these characters in advance that it's really hurting me to see them go. Typically my features max out at 6-8 characters, and maybe a few one-liners here and there. I don't write big films. I like little contained comedies with genre-film backdrops. I knew I was stepping out of my comfort zone for writing with this one, but honestly I think this will be the one that breaks my heart the most so far.
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My advice is to do it as fast as possible. I recently had to do something similar, and I just told myself that I still have the original version if I ever need it. Then did the rewrite as quickly as I could. Pushed through it. I'm planning on going back in now and touching it up. Good luck.
I feel like I'm holding a shotgun to my dog and closing my eyes with this one. So know what you mean.
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If the material doesn't add value, then get rid of it. However, if you think this story and characters are the shyte, perhaps this story would lend itself to a pilot with one or two extra episodes ready to go. Then you could craft a bible with a synopsis for one season of streaming or cable. It's good to have a pilot and I've seen producers looking for sci-fi pilots. Just an idea. Though I've written a ton of features, I have three pilot episodes and occasionally pitch them. Just pitched one to a UK production company last week and they requested a script. Best of luck, Mister Assunto!
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Before you shoot Old Yeller, maybe you should get a second opinion.
Why not cut some things for the script but rewrite your current version as the graphic novel?
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That's tough. Rewrites are tough, especially when you love the original. Okay, I don't mean to devalue your screenwriter friend's opinion of your script but there have been many a stories where there are so many stories and characters in one film, New Years Eve is an example here, lots of characters, lots of different narratives and it all only really starts to connect the characters in the last Act. Maybe you should study what big films did to make their stories with their multiple characters work and then consider whether or not your film is marketable the way it is. You got one opinion from one person, don't let that be the reason you believe that your script doesn't work. You have taken the time to learn the craft, you understand screenwriting and if by your opinion alone you feel the script is good then you should consider leaving it the way it is. You shouldn't have to break your own heart and rewrite a script unless someone's paying you to do it. Until then, believe in yourself, love your darlings and start pitching the script. If it gets read and you get the same feedback, by all means cut your darlings. Until then....
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So first off all thanks for hosting a cool meeting through Scrip Revolution CJ. And sorry that I talked too much as always. I can't help myself! Just tell me to shut the f.ck up next time.
So if less is more( except when more is more in those few the golden scenes that carry the screenplay). About killing your darlings. For me, it always feels like killing narrative/dialog that just does not serve the story in ANY way. But a lot of writers -I feel - kill what they think the reader - producers etc - do not want to see. For me, that is when you kill the artist within yourself. Don't give anybody what you think they want to have, but just give them what they need. (In the Matrix that would be: "don't try to hit me, hit me". )
But does the writer really know what a reader want's to read/hear? Sure, you can read a lot of books (as I did) that tell you what a reader wants to read, but does anybody ever really know? The first thing I do while doing revisions for Jerel Damon - my writing partner - or myself, is look for possible redundant dialog -- dialog that tells you things that already have been said in action lines. You would be surprised how much useless text you can cut out of a screenplay the first revision you do.
Dang it! I may be reading this incorrectly but it sounds to me you know what needs to be done, so do it. To have a collaborator from the beginning is one thing but to have someone polish a completed script at our level is risky, to say the least. No offense to those who do polish but keep in mind when you ask someone to change some the option that it's OK the way it leaves the table. They will make changes whether they're needed or not if for no other reason than to flex their muscles. Carve it down to 90 - 1000 pages, make sure it has a beginning, a middle and an end... and maybe read Save the Cat! For what it's worth.
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I'm with Phillip E. Hardy, "The Pro From Dover" about "if it doesn't add value, then get rid of it." Only I go farther - I have no darlings. If anything doesn't serve the story, it gets gone.
Story is all. (see if anyone recogs this)
And I disagree with CJ Walley - killing "darlings" isn't killing the artist's heart. The heart of an artist is about the art as a whole, not an individual character/aspect. Artists are about the most ruthless people there are (with their art).
Concerning the pieces within an overall work: "They don't get to choose." (another easter egg).
Nuff said.
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I feel your pain.
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think about the endgame - you're asking actors, directors, cinematographers, cast & crew - to create "3 films into 1 film." Lots of fantastic folks can't zig & zag. They do one or two things great and crush it. That's it.
Think about asking Lewis Hamilton to drive F1, Nascar, Indy, drag racing and excel at every race. Impossible.
However, I've been watching Bollywood movies and holy shit - some of these filmmakers - have 4 or 5 genres cram into one. The best Bollywood movies seem to get it right. :)
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Great points, CJ Walley! To be clear, my comments weren't advocating compliance over integrity. In a sense, it was all about integrity. I would never encourage a writer to "kill the darlings" based on one person's notes (unless that person is paying you to make specific changes - that's another discussion). The ruthlessness I implied involves an artist serving their art. No darling should survive the artist's blade if it doesn't serve the vision. Take opinions and notes and comments, evaluate them through the looking-glass of your vision, and decide what serves (or doesn't) the art.
Then hack away ruthlessly. :)
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Opened up an interesting debate here. I should have made it clear that his notes were spot on and I believe he's right, it actually inspired a lot of changes. I've just never loved characters so much that I want to cut before. They simply don't belong, I know they don't belong, I went a bit too far with this draft, and they make me laugh but they shouldn't be there. However I do know firsthand that the main issue with comedy writing is how people read that comedy. If they don't know my voice, they might not get it, or they might just not be a fan of that. In this case it was more about technical notes and differentiating myself from other big scripts in the genre more. Which is a result of me deconstructing those films and I didn't blend/parody them enough. I can just be a bit of a baby about taking out those characters sometimes because when I finish a script, no matter the state, it's perfectly clear in my head. The movie already exists visually for some reason to me. The voices are there. It's mostly been cast. It's like I remember seeing it in theaters and loving it. It's a stubbornness to change what I love. But I also agree that I need to, if that makes sense. I don't believe that my writing is the end all and be all. I believe I have to take notes to be better. I sometimes think the worst thing I could do as a writer is trust only myself. It's hard to be objective when you're this close to it. The moment you close yourself off to an outside opinion, even if you disagree with it, is the moment you're declaring yourself a master of the artform. I know I'm not there yet. I know I make myself laugh when I write, but sometimes having those additional characters there just for running gags and payoffs is too much and it needs to be trimmed. It's good I went big on this first draft. Just breaks my heart to dump those laughs out because that's what I go for, the laugh. It's definitely better to have 10 great bits than 20 good bits or 40 mediocre bits. I'm at the 20-40 right now and need to make it the 10.
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Treat your rewrite like a bully. Punch it in the face!