Screenwriting : The Rewriting Process: My Seven Pass Sequence by Eric Smith

Eric Smith

The Rewriting Process: My Seven Pass Sequence

Hi Friends,

I'd like to briefly introduce myself first- first post here.  My name is Eric, live in AZ, have a lot of respect for RB & Stage 32, and hope to be a positive addition here.  Screenwriter, and I'm currently working on a spec- first draft is a couple weeks away.

A gentleman named Nick posted a great question earlier today about the rewriting process and because I'm right in the middle of prepping for that, I did my best to give him a detailed answer of my process.  Posting it in hope that this may be of use in some way, particularly to someone who might be stumped right now or needs some help with finding a process.  Response pasted here below.  Hope you're enjoying the day. 

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Hi Nick. Hope your Sunday is well. I design pass sheets, specifically for each work, that I use in my re-writing process. I'll choose 2-3 pass categories for a pass, tailoring a seven pass goal (six and a final), at minimum. After each pass, I'll revamp my attack, depending on what I find. I may be able to hit the mark before seven, but I find that seven seems to work well, particularly with a schedule that has distance breaks from the work, in order that I can see things clearly. To put this in context, I'm a big believer in outlining and create a master outline and a one sentence scene/beat outline alongside it before starting my first draft. I recently finished my seventh pass on my scene/beat outline. I can "watch" the entire film from start to finish, in simple sentences, using the pass categories as I go, chiseling the rock away on the scene outline first. This saves me a ton of wasted time and energy in the rewriting process. It also gives me a tremendous amount of freedom, because the hours of prep flow out in a more subconscious manner, not stifling my creativity. So, in a sense, that’s fourteen times, at minimum, that I’ve been through. First, in a macro sense with the scene outline, then micro and more detailed with the drafts. That's just me. May not work for someone else. May sound like a lot, but I don’t believe it is. Because I have a mark to hit, I often find myself being more efficient. Saves me time. I'm almost finished with my last piece of research and my first draft on this spec is a couple weeks out. I'm designing my pass sheet now. Some of the categories that I have for this screenplay are:

1) Suspense / Forward Interest

Is the audience wondering what's going to happen next?

2) Emotional Energy Flow / Beat to Beat

How is the transfer of emotional energy from beat to beat?

3) Setting / World in View

Can it be seen, imagined, lived in? Precision in language. I also include costume, sfx, scoring/music that may be pertinent to the screenplay and other like things here that create the world in view.

4) Truth

Have I written truth? Eliminate cliches, overused tropes, choices.

5) Read it aloud

I would encourage doing this alone and/ or with a group if you prefer, and even recording it for playback.

6) Business and blocking

What are my characters doing while doing? Emphasis on naturalism and realism in action.

7) Arcs for all characters

Are they thought out, complete, or deliberately incomplete?

8) Active voice and removing adverbs, unnecessary words

This one is very important to me. Am I carefully using descriptive language that is active in its voice and descriptive in language? I will also go over what I call the “psychology of the page.” For me, this is how the layout of the page makes the reader feel by design. I want to ensure that it isn’t busy, is broken where it needs to be, creates pacing and feel, etc..

9) Transitions between scenes

Are they present and what is their purpose?

10) Nuance

Where am I being heavy-handed? This could be with dialogue, character choices, metaphors, punctuation, i.e. the exclamation mark.

11) Interesting details / "Adorning the tree"

I love this one. I'd say this might be the most interesting one on my list. It's like adorning a Christmas tree with decorations- not enough of something, it's bare and lifeless, too much, it's overkill, even gaudy. An example of this is- in the film Creed, there's a quick cut of some shoes that have been tied together, hanging over an electrical wire on a city street. If you've lived in that area, that's a nice touch of detail- you’ve seen that before. May have even done it before and have a good laugh out of it. Engages us further and if we haven’t seen it, it creates interest. I grew up in Pittsburgh and saw that all the time. Go Philly.

12) Perspective

Can this scene be given perspective? Instead of viewing it one way, can I frame it or tell it in a unique way that deepens the perspective? Juxtaposing some other business or action in the background would be an example.

13) Delete Exposition

Snip snip.

14) Character

Are my characters presented in such a way that they seem imbued with their entire lifetime, up to that point?

15) Applicability / Engagement

Have I maximized my information to be as applicable to as many audience members as possible? My goal is to be able to engage as many as possible, as deeply as possible, for the duration of the ride. This and "Interesting details" are family. I also think about the full scope of my audience- age, gender, ethnicity, etc.. and how I might use information to engage them. I spend a lot of time working on characters with this one, that they may be as truthful and interesting as possible.

16) Threading

This is on many levels. I check for inconsistencies from start to finish. On the positive side, I make sure that all my setups, connections, etc.. are clear, have their intended effect, land well, and move the story forward.

17) Beats, Scenes, Movements

I'm a proponent of "directing musically." I've never been a three act kind of guy- instead, I use movements, like a classical piece. This helps me to be very mindful of the "emotional energetic flow" as I call it, and tone. I find this to be extremely helpful when it comes to pacing, particularly in dealing with the "second act." I don't have to deal with it, because I don't have one, per se. I'm not trying to force my structure- instead, I'm composing. My current spec has 12 movements, or groupings of scenes. Some are longer, some shorter. I can clearly see my pacing on my scene/beat outline and it's easier for me to ensure that every grouping is a clearly defined emotional unit. In an indirect way, it also helps me to see what my "beginning, middle, and end" are really made up of.

18) Framing / Writing Cinematically

I'm putting this last, but it's actually the first thing I do. I do this in my scene/ beat outline as the first pass. I want to ensure that I'm writing a screenplay. Not a novel. Not a narrative. My aim is to use the highest level of "sneaky description" that I can, in order to present clear framing/shots, but not slow down the reader at all, hence sneaky. For example, I do my best not to rely on camera direction terminology unless absolutely necessary (which I rarely find I have to), use "We..." as my second plan of attack, and as my primary- careful description. My opinion is that careful description may be a more effective way of creating framing/shots in the text, simply because I believe it has a lesser likelihood of taking the reader out of engaging with the text and story. "We..." can be used effectively too, I believe, but I try to force myself to see if I can come up with it using description first, and that usually results in an interesting choice.

So, if after my first draft, I feel that the predominant issue is that it's bloated- I can feel the weight of too many words, the length shows it, and the general feeling in comparison with my scene/beat outline is that the movements and flow is off- my first pass might consist of the following 3 categories: 5) Read it aloud, 8) Active voice, removing adverbs, unnecessary words, and 13) Delete Exposition. Before I get down to work for the day, I'll take a few minutes to think through these three things, have them in front of me, and get to work. I'll do this until the pass is done, correcting anything else I find necessary, but I try to stay focused on the pass that I've set for myself.

I have a few more, but you may be asleep by now or have run out of coffee, so I'll stop there. Not trying to ramble on or talk at you- I was working on this myself and was hoping I could help in some way. To bring it to a close- if you did 6 passes, you could use 3 categories per pass, and order the passes any way you like, according to what you believe the screenplay requires. I usually take a short break after the third pass- maybe a week or so and then a longer break of two weeks or more before my seventh and final draft. If I haven’t hit the mark by then, I recoup, and try again.

To answer your question succinctly- unless I was working for hire and was nailed to a time frame, my opinion is- work hard every day and do my best to create the highest level work of art I can, even if it takes longer than I expected. We might just hit it out of the park the first time. Or the next.

Hope this is helpful and happy writing.

Eric

Eric Smith

Thanks, Pamela. Appreciate it!

Peter Roach

That is thorough. I thought I had a 3/4 pass system until I checked my screenplays. I am always at v7 when I think it is done. Sneaky bastard!

Eric Smith

Ha! Sneaky, sneaky.

Richard "RB" Botto

Eric, I had no doubt you would bring the goods here. This post proves it. Look forward to seeing you around these parts more often!

Debbie Croysdale

Hi Eric Welcome. Love the “Sneaky Description” and “Christmas Tree” Angle of yours!

Eric Smith

You’re gracious, RB. Thanks. We’re blessed to have this platform, because of you. Hello Aray. Thanks Debbie, means a lot.

Richard "RB" Botto

I appreciate that, Eric. It's the incredible creatives here, especially the dedicated and committed ones, that make the whole thing sing.

Phil Parker

Nice breakdown of your process, Eric. Thanks for sharing. It's a process most writers should be utilizing, in one form or another. As you alluded to, though, the luxury of having the time to do so many passes when you're a writer for hire doesn't exist. You have to compress your passes just as you're tightening your screenplay. In fact, your first draft when you're a writer for hire will need to look like you've already done some of those passes. That comes with experience for all of us though. :)

Richard "RB" Botto

Nice post, Phil.

Pablo Diablo

I love this, thank you for posting this, Eric!

Eric Smith

Well said, Phil Parker. You nailed it. That's why my manner of scene/beat outline is so important to me. I've often seen scene/beat outlines taught as an narrative outline with some major points in it. I don't personally find that helpful. What I find valuable about writing one sentence descriptions of scenes/beat and grouping them into movements, is that I can do passes on this that don't take very long at all. It's also very flexible. I can be as detailed or direct as I like, still making it very useful for timed writing or "luxury" writing. Some of the major issues that many of us have in our first drafts, such as pacing, character issues, and tone, can nearly be eliminated by doing this, in my opinion. Heck, I can do a full pass in the morning and another in the afternoon, because of the concise nature of it. I believe this is one of the major factors in writing a better first draft. Funny you bring this up because Lifetime writer Mark Sanderson and I were talking about this on Twitter the other day and how we are both not in favor of the traditional understanding of the "vomit draft" because of the very thing you stated- when writing for hire, a best first draft is invaluable.

Nice to meet you, Phil. Hope the day is well.

Eric Smith

Welcome Pablo, nice to meet you, man!

Richard "RB" Botto

Mark Sanderson is an active member here as well Eric Smith - Always offering valuable insights.

Bill Costantini

For those who might have missed this the first time, here is a nice summary of how one writer plans his work and outlines/writes/rewrites a story, and some of you might find it insightful and useful.

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