Screenwriting : Need advice by Chaun Lee

Try this one.

homunculus[ huh-muhng-kyuh-luh s, hoh- ]

noun, plural ho·mun·cu·li [huh-muhng-kyuh-lahy, hoh-] .

1 ,an artificially made dwarf, supposedly produced in a flask by an alchemist.

2. a fully formed, miniature human body believed, according to some medical theories of the 16th and 17th centuries, to be contained in the spermatozoon.

3, a diminutive human being.

4. the human fetus.

Lol, love diminutive human being, fetus...but what's "supposedly produced in a flask by an alchemist"?? Is this for real?

It's on Dictionary.com so it's gotta be right. LOL!

Hilarious!

My go to site is Thesaurus.com and I keep one next to me. Amazing how lines and descriptions change just by using a different word that means the same thing.

Yes, it's mine too, but, I couldn't find any other word that sounded good. I will keep at it. I'm making it a point to write everyday though with all this going on.

Hi, Chaun Lee. Not sure if this is for a comedy or drama, or for a family animation with animal characters (runt?), etc, but for a logline, I'd suggest going with something pretty straight-forward and not overly "clever." A logline should be succinct and easily understood by anyone. For example, for the film Rudy he is described as "half the size of the other players" in loglines or "he's told he's not big enough" in a synopsis. A lot of the namecalling/labeling/teasing/use of slang happens within the story/film between characters, not at the logline. Anyway, hope that helps some. Best to you! :)

lil tike

"diminutive castaway" instead of "rejected runt"

Hi Beth, this is for an animated film. The character's size sets up the ironic component. I l LOVE your examples and sincerely appreciate it!!

A.S. Templeton, I know, but castaway or outcast didn't flow. But, I like the examples Beth offered as suitable alternatives. I'll keep working it. Derek, sounds adorable.

You're welcome, Chaun Lee. ;) Further context certainly helps, thanks. If, say, your protag does indeed come from a litter, then "runt" is a perfect choice—no need for "rejected" as that is a common assumption with the runt of a litter. They usually are rejected or overlooked. So in that context, everyone already knows what that is, what that looks like, etc. Agree with avoiding alliteration at the logline. Also, avoid using unnecessarily-overly-complicated adjectives your reader may not be familiar with—why confuse or alienate or irk? A logline is your first "pitch" to your reader, right? I should not have to check a dictionary to understand a logline. Lol! So, again, simple, but pithy and clear meaning at the logline is often best. Good luck! ;)

Chase, pipsqueak is up there on my list now too.

Marjolein, sprout is in the running, lol. Btw, on another note, I found that returning to my animation ideas actually lifted my mood significantly during all of this.

Oh, a side note... Some of the great suggestions above would make good character names. For example, naming the runt of a litter "Sprout" or "Pipsqueak" works well. Consider, "Hiccup," from How to Train Your Dragon—he's considered to be different, a "screw up," he makes mistakes, causes things to go wrong, etc. Perfect name for that character. Anyhoo, again, good luck! Best wishes with your project. ;)

It's very, VERY hard to beat "RUNT" in my book. So cordial congrats for that, Chaun Lee. Another word which I'm personally very fond of is ... "WEAKLING" because it makes you instantly sympathize with the said character. At least I do. But hey -- RUNT ... is pretty darn formidable in terms of a visual description and metaphor, and shouldn't bypassed easily!!! Good luck and best of inspiration!

A good substitute for runt is 'binch.' The amalgamation of bitch and grinch. Used in a sentence: She couldn't reach the sugar on the top shelf because she was a binch.

How about an evil minikin?

Ha, thank you Beth, what an excellent idea! Juhani, thanks a mil, I will definitely consider all of the wonderful input I'm receiving.

Bo...uh, I appreciate it. Binch? Idk, but for family stuff, it may cut too close to.....?

Brian, that'd be great, if I were writing an anti-hero or antagonist, but this is dealing with my protagonist...

Squirt, it was commonly used in my family!

Lol, Nick. It looks like that's what Dictionary.com is doing.

Aray, thank you. But, it's not a "he"...lol

A lot of times we forget, the word spelled "Minute" has two meanings, different pronunciations, one also refers to being small, other words to recall are "Insignificance" and "Belittled" the last of the mentioned, I believe may suit your project. Hi Chaun Lee!

Love "Belittled" Eon. Thank you!!

There's a secondary level of logline writing where you are dealing with the specificity of how you are describing the elements in your logline. That means doing a complete first draft over and over and finding out what your story's about. You might then make one of these two elements a bit vague, in its final form, and making the other more specific than just their job. In other words, you might have an engineer. You don't at that point call him an engineer. You call him an expert at concrete pouring because it's more integral to understanding the logline. And the other quality might go from their subjective problem, what's wrong with their point of view, to something watered down, that gets the audience interested, but doesn't give away their exact problem.

I invite you to read my logline and compare to others.

Remember, you are telling something to someone else. Your specific audience.

How about Pebble or Tiny (although Tiny May be too on the nose)?

Thank you Brian!

Andi, I had tiny too...but I reworked it and will share it in a few to give a more complete pic of the story/concept

Ok, so here's what I have:

I think you need to unpack it bit. We don't need to know that she's the chosen one. Also, if she's a warrior, we already know that she's brave. Essentially, A tiny warrior must fulfill her destiny by stopping an evil sky witch from destroying her land. You might embellish it a bit more...

I like that, "unpack it a bit". Thank you!!

"An unlikely heroine must prove the ancient prophecy true by stopping an evil sky witch from destroying their lands."

shrimp? small fry? black sheep? scapegoat? leper?

Your character sounds like someone I use to work with. We had a nickname for him...

In keeping with previous contributions, I really believe this may work for a title or name......."CROWN & The Belittled" or "Crowned Belittled" or "Crowns & The Belittled", even "CROWN Belittle" with some spectacular Graphics and Motion Graphics, I believe you have an eye-catcher. You can even try including the artwork of a crown also, it will challenge the imagination of a concept artiste........ Your Thoughts!...

It's getting better! Now go in and write those parts of the story! Then come back to the logline. We seem to have a similar writing process.

Thank you everyone!!!

RE ORIGINAL QUESTION (Runt) @Chaun Hi I would put something like "Height challenged at barely touching five foot." Is there another reason the other characters shun this person, other than they are short? Cos if it's only because of looks, it will make the characters who shun them look shallow, or even guilty of hate crime (in today's political correctness society.) In several past much watched tv series, these slang words like "runt" are usually preceded by a word that describes the inner workings of a character's mind. Eg Dallas "Poison Dwarf"

Hi Debbie, thank you for the feedback. I've left "runt" out of it. I'm still reworking the logline and sincerely appreciate all of the kind support.

If you rename your character to Adam (I'm assuming he's a strong character) - you could call him Adam Ant.

Doug, "she" is a strong character, lol.

Doug Nelson Ant music for Ant people.

Everyone on our pit crew had a nickname - To Tall and Adam Ant were a pair to draw to.

Go to the Google or Bing translate, look up the history of the word, etymology, then find a translation. O R, look for synonyms in a thesaurus, or find one of the shakespeare lists, he has plenty of colorful other ways of describing people. I can tell you the chinese word for child is pronounced rung, heavy on rolling the "r" sound, I can't tell you how its truly spelled. The word diminutive comes to mind, but then so does an old mark twain saying, never use a fifty cent word when a nickel one will do. And what that thinking goes to, is keep in mind you're writing to the masses, if you want big numbers of people to be interested.