Stage 32 1st Annual TV Drama Writing Contest - SEMI-FINALIST

I was thinking that maybe replace "traumatic past" for "what" that traumatic past is, but not sure how you could explain in only few words. Maybe :

confront "losing their young daugter" when an abused...

Thanks Rutger, losing their young daughter and the impact it has on them is a major point of the story. However, 'traumatic past' in this case goes beyond the daughter and more into what they suffered and survived as children, which resonates through the abused androgynous child they end up caring for (where the horror element comes into play). Thank you for the feedback though, much appreciated! :)

I'm not clear what "sexually damaged" means. It could mean a lot of things. Film sounds interesting.

Hi Dan, thank you for the feedback! In this context, 'sexually damaged' refers to trauma the lead protagonists have suffered as children, which continues impacting them in the present as they struggle to have a family of their own.

I will point out this is the pilot for a limited series; it did start as a feature, but I adapted the format as I felt it gave greater scope for character development.

Sounds intriguing. Would love to give this a read. Going to start on it tonight!

Wonderful! Thank you in advance for the read Sarahfina, I hope you enjoy :)

The darkness of your story is evident, but every character is crippled in some way: IVF surrogates, androgynous child, genital Mutilation, you name it. It isn't easy to catch the story, who is opposing force. After the cleanup process, I assume this story could take flight.

you do not need the words sexually damaged as it does not add to the logline and is confusing to the story In addition how is this story different or unique from the many other story which have the same premise!!!

Thank you John! :)

Thank you for the ratings! :)

Thank you for the ratings everyone, much appreciated! :)

Thank you Wilder! :)

Thank you Mark :)

I just started reading this and will finish it up later Nate. Great concept. Love the logline, but I agree, should take out the word sexually. Makes it easier to reach a larger audience without going into too much detail. Great work in tackling tough subject matter. Love your writing style.

Thank you for your feedback Mark, glad you like the style! I'll have another look at the logline :)

Thanks Donte! :)

Thank you Benjamin and Heather! :)

Thank you Aubrey! :)

Thank you Reenita! :)

Thank you Gwynita! :)

Thank you for the kind words Dayna, hopefully the pilot engages! :)

Thank you so much Jane! :)

Thank you Thoko! :)

This sounds interesting. I downloaded the script and I will read that tonight.

Thanks Tim, glad to hear you like the idea. Hopefully the pilot's a good read tonight for you :)

This is imaginative, it has a M. Night Shyamalan feel, it can be confusing if you do not read the script from beginning to end because it switches from flaskbacks to present day and montages. I did like it. The intersex idea was different and how that story unfolded with the children.

Thank you for the feedback Tim, I'm glad you like the feel of it - I'll have a review of the pilot to make sure it's all clear going forward :)

Thank you Ed! :)

Thanks Steven! :)

Thanks Joseph! :)

Thank you Rodriquez, much appreciated! :)

Thank you Ethan! :)

Thank you Anton & Kevin! :D

You're welcome! After reading your logline and synopsis, I took a look at the teaser part of your script. The goat head/body and wrecked car... great visual! Over the holidays, I will come back and read the rest.

Thank you so much Kevin, glad the opening's hooked you in! :)

Wow, thank you Brooklyn! :D

Thank you Arthur :)

Thanks Jeffrey! :)

Thank you Suprio! :)

Thank you for the great ratings Sarah, glad you like the loglines :D

Thanks Jack! :)

Thank you so much Paul! :D

Thank you Kalisha! :)

Thank you so much Gianis! :D

Finally, a horror property that doesn't focus on cheap thrills and Hollywoodian tropes. My series focuses on trauma as well, without going too deep in the subject. My only worry is Noah's character developement. Hopefully, he's a bit more fleshed out than just a "demon child".

Thank you Efrain and Marcel, very kind words! I can assure there is more story material than what's just available in the synopsis and script, Noah gets more character development throughout through the themes of generational trauma, so won't be just another 'demon child' trope :)

Thank you Russell! :D

Thank you so much Will! :D

Thank you Diane! :D

Thanks Adara! :)

What an an interesting premise for a horror story. It's quite unique, and obviously meaningful to you, Nate. I'm wondering if you were a little more specific and simplified the logline, it might be better. Something like: Reeling after the death of their adopted daughter, an Irish intersex couple in Northern England grapples with a malevolent presence when an abused child is left in their care.

Thanks for the feedback Robin, that's a great idea for the logline, I'll take it onboard! :)

So glad to be of help, Nate!

I would love to watch this movie.

Thank you Lakiesha, high praise indeed! :D Would love to see it as a TV series someday if lucky :)

Thank you Ides! :)

Thank you so much Emma! :D

Thank you so much Grant and Robin, appreciate the ratings! :D

Wow! I'd watch this

Thanks Sebastian! :D